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Location: Ontario, Canada

I'm happily married to Mr. Man. We have 2 daughters, Big R and Little R. I'm a stay at home mom. We moved from the big city to the country, living a dream. I'm a collector and a packrat. I'd rather read a book than watch a movie. I battle depression. I love life, but that wasn't always the case. This is my journal.

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Wednesday, August 08, 2007

In Response To Mopsa

Well Mopsa we have often joked about getting a sheep. We even asked a town councillor about it. But because we live in a subdivision we are not allowed to have farm animals. I could have birds like geese or roosters or chickens but would have to protect them from coyotes. And the feed is costly and you have to feed them just the right amount. I wouldn't know the first thing about feeding a sheep. That would also mean we would need a fence for sure. It just seems easier to move.
I've honestly had just about enough of this country living. We're in the country, surrounded by farm fields. However we are in a subdivision of approximately 30 homes (and that was for the "security of neighbours") so we don't have the freedom we would have liked. Yes we can have huge bonfires. In many ways it is more relaxed than in the city. But I am a city girl afterall and do miss some things about it. I'm thinking of moving to town, not neccesarily back to the big city. Just a small town.
I don't know, lately I'm feeling old. Escpecially when out cutting the grass. I just don't have the energy I once had. Or the stamina. I know I feel older than I should. I know I don't take care of myself. Cutting the grass with the push mower was supposed to be a step towards getting in better shape. We do have a ride on mower, but it doesn't do the corners and edges and small areas. I think the push mower does a much nicer job. So it was I who insisted on doing the mowing myself with the push mower.
The other day Mr. Man in fact said I was sounding more like a man all the time when talking about mowing the lawn. He said by this time next year I'll be saying the hell with it, pave the whole thing over. LOL
The truth is its not about the grass at all. Its not about the size of the yard. Its about me. I feel like crap. I don't want to do anything. I'm miserable and depressed. I feel bad emotionally, mentally and physically. When I get like this I withdraw. I don't do anything. I don't cook. I don't clean. I don't parent. I read, sleep and play on the computer, thats it. My big outing would be to take the dogs for a walk or going out to get the mail. Which all serves to make me feel guilty on top of how miserable I already feel. On the bright side I know in my heart it won't last forever. I will pull out of it. Even if its just long enough to get the house cleaned up and the grass cut.
Besides I don't know how the dogs would react to a sheep or geese in their yard. Probably not favourably.
Have a great day.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So how would you feel about me moving to PEI in say... a month?

12:57 PM  
Blogger Mopsa said...

Only just found your response - sheep and livestock definitely not right for everyone and are of course a mega commitment. But they do get you out of the house, whatever the mood or season, and I find they lift my mood greatly. Best wishes.

5:58 AM  

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