Its Been A While...

Good evening...
How sad that I went ahead and deleted my whole blog again, in a manic moment. I just didn't want the psycho in-laws knowing anything about our life. But there was some good posting on there and some good links also. Its a shame.
I must say its been interesting to scan through the IP addresses of who is STILL checking up on me.
It is bizarre how people are so very interested and yet show no interest at all, in the real world. I know who you are, I know how often you're on my site, I know what pages you look at, and for how long. My new guestbook even shows right on it, to everyone, how many times its been viewed, and yet, no one has signed it. Very interesting...
What are you looking for? What do you hope or expect to see? What do you want? What do you want to know?
Maybe I should unblock some email addresses?
I started out sharing some personal info about myself, such as my lifelong battles with depression. My struggles, trials and tribulations, dramas, traumas and negative life experiences. I was open and honest. I told it the way it is.
The truth is, a mere couple of months ago I was happier than I've ever been. My life was finally on an even keel. Nothing was, or is, perfect. I don't expect perfection, ever. I'm not sure perfection even exists. It would be closer to perfect if my husband wasn't trashed by that car accident.
I also mentioned my troubles with PMS. Go ahead and laugh. But it truly isn't funny at all, its quite serious when you have to live with it.
I spoke out about things in the news, things in the world, sharing my opinions and feelings on matters.
I did a lot of thanking, expressing my appreciation and gratitude to people in my life. Unfortunately, some of those people never even saw what I said. I also expressed my anger and disappointment with people.
I shared my day-to-day life, my gardening adventures, shopping excursions, life in a small town.
If our bike was on the road, I would be sharing our riding adventures. Alas, she still sits in the garage waiting for some TLC. But, its not the end of the world, we will ride before this season ends. We have been out for a couple of short scoots, nothing worth mentioning.
Life was going good, with the exception of my husband being crippled, but we were dealing with it. Then the negativity started, coming from all directions, and before you know it, I'm a basketcase. It almost seems like just because I was somewhat happy and content, some folks strived to cause me grief. It got me wondering if I should be so open and honest, sharing anything personal.
I also stated another reason for this blog was for me to learn to express myself accurately. I have since learned it doesn't matter how articulate I am or not, some people will never get it. Some people simply do not want to understand. Some people simply don't listen. People hear, see or read what they want to, regardless of what is really being said. People tell me they didn't know I had such an interest in gardening and it sounds fake. What? I've been told I'm a "biker chick", I disagreed and was argued with. I've been accused of things which aren't true. I've been called a liar. I am constantly, endlessly defending myself. What the hell? I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion. I must find a way or learn how to not care what others think about me. To a degree I don't care, but sometimes its bothersome, like when I disagree.
So anyways, I'm not sure whats going to happen with this blog, or with my personal site. But for now I thought I would just give you all something to read lol.
I have been quite busy lately. Got my car back on the road finally. The gardens are coming along swimmingly. Getting lots done around the house. Still lots more to do though lol. We are thinking of selling soon, or, just renting it out and moving on. Having the "security of neighbours" isn't all its cracked up to be. As huge as the lot seemed at first, it gets smaller seeming all the time. Besides, I need trees.
Until next time...
Have a great night.