Friendship Is Non-Toxic!
Here is my horoscope for Feb. 27/07...
You should continue to withdraw into your safety zone if you are feeling unsafe. But remember, it's not that you've failed. Far from it. You've just reached beyond your normal grasp and are growing from the experience. Keep your wits about you, and your sense of optimism, as you make alternative plans for the weeks ahead.
Here is my horoscope for Feb. 28/07....
You may find it increasingly difficult to work with other people these days. In fact, it may feel as if those same folks who are usually quite supportive are now standing in your way. However, you could be overly sensitive, imagining the resistance to be more serious than it truly is. Instead of shadowboxing with non-existent enemies, focus on your own self-expression and artistic creativity.
So yeah, yesterday I was feeling a little "unsafe", with the psycho dumping more toxic waste into my life. Little did I know she was unblocked from one of my email addresses, so I received another toxic email last night. My "alternative plans" included starting another blog, which I did. But upon further thought, why bother? It just wasn't the same. I like this one. "Imagining resistance to be more serious than it truly is" is what happened to me. Because she truly is a "non-existent enemy" and I should continue to "focus on my own self-expression and artistic creativity". I agree.
I had thought of posting last nights letter on here for all the world to see, and in fact told her I was going to, in my reply (I couldn't resist! gotta have the last word you know lol), but why bother. It's just more of the same. I'm useless, worthless, selfish, demanding, pathetic, a stupid bitch, a fucking twisted freak, a taker, not a contributing member of society, I think the world owes me something, she helped me out so much and I never did anything for her, bla bla bla. Whatever....she is entitled to her opinions, however wrong they may be.
I used to have such low self esteem I would soak up her words like a sponge. Thankfully I have gotten away from her and been able to learn how to let it roll off my back. I've learned that I cannot change her opinions. I've learned that her opinions just don't matter in the big picture.
Knowing you are hated by someone, for whatever reason, is not pleasant. I don't want to be hated. But I can't change it. Getting upset about it doesn't do any good. So why bother? She is the way she is, always was, always will be I think. At least I have grown to the point of being able to let it roll off my back. She doesn't even know me. She knows the insecure, self-loathing creature I used to be, the creature who she contributed to creating. I have thrived away from her hatred, toxic waste, jealousy and bitterness. (I bought a Hazmat suit on Ebay LOL)
What do I care if she stalks me and reads this? It doesn't matter to me. If that's how she gets her jollies, well then, that makes her the fucking twisted freak doesn't it? I was right, she does get pleasure from my "misfortunes". That has nothing to do with me. It certainly has nothing to do with what type of person I am.
But that's what she's done all along, project her own faults, guilts and inadequacies onto me. Accusing me of all the things she is guilty of. It's bizarre.
I was so naive as a kid. I thought when someone called themselves your friend, it meant they were your friend. I had no idea that she had issues of her own which were much worse than my own. She never talked about it, how was I to know? Our "friendship" was toxic from day one. I allowed her to destroy me because I didn't know any better. To hear the things she says about me, you'd think she doesn't know me at all. It's true, she doesn't know me at all. I think she was, and still is, so busy wallowing in her own shit, she can't see anything else.
I read a couple of quotes yesterday that really jumped out at me.
"Drama is life with the dull bits cut out." Alfred Hitchcock
"Only when the power of love overcomes the love of power will the world know peace." Jimi Hendrix
I love Jimi Hendrix, well, I love his music. Another great musician taken too soon.
Yesterday was beautiful. Not too cold. Big fat snowflakes drifting down lazily like feathers. The day before it had snowed all night and day, steadily. I felt a little silly heading out to a town 20 miles away to pick up some free pottery. The roads were an icy mess. But I'm glad we went. I got 5 beautiful pieces of Blue Mountain pottery. Yay Freecycle! I've had some interest but no takers yet for some more stuff I posted. One thing is a big bag of Hubbys shirts. Yes he actually went through his pile of clothes for me, finally. Most of it is unworn, was gifts that didn't fit. Some of it was worn once and shrank when washed. I'd keep some of it for myself, but even shrunk, it's way too big for me. If no one takes it by the weekend, it's off to the Salvation Army.
I partially dragged out one of my sewing machines, oh boy. That's me, intimidated by a sewing machine lol. I need Hubbys help moving it and wouldn't you know he's napping.
Well, I'm going to go see if I can get it set up by myself. It looks like it's going to be a sunny day for a change, yay. So enjoy your day, try not to get hit by any toxic waste.
You should continue to withdraw into your safety zone if you are feeling unsafe. But remember, it's not that you've failed. Far from it. You've just reached beyond your normal grasp and are growing from the experience. Keep your wits about you, and your sense of optimism, as you make alternative plans for the weeks ahead.
Here is my horoscope for Feb. 28/07....
You may find it increasingly difficult to work with other people these days. In fact, it may feel as if those same folks who are usually quite supportive are now standing in your way. However, you could be overly sensitive, imagining the resistance to be more serious than it truly is. Instead of shadowboxing with non-existent enemies, focus on your own self-expression and artistic creativity.
So yeah, yesterday I was feeling a little "unsafe", with the psycho dumping more toxic waste into my life. Little did I know she was unblocked from one of my email addresses, so I received another toxic email last night. My "alternative plans" included starting another blog, which I did. But upon further thought, why bother? It just wasn't the same. I like this one. "Imagining resistance to be more serious than it truly is" is what happened to me. Because she truly is a "non-existent enemy" and I should continue to "focus on my own self-expression and artistic creativity". I agree.
I had thought of posting last nights letter on here for all the world to see, and in fact told her I was going to, in my reply (I couldn't resist! gotta have the last word you know lol), but why bother. It's just more of the same. I'm useless, worthless, selfish, demanding, pathetic, a stupid bitch, a fucking twisted freak, a taker, not a contributing member of society, I think the world owes me something, she helped me out so much and I never did anything for her, bla bla bla. Whatever....she is entitled to her opinions, however wrong they may be.
I used to have such low self esteem I would soak up her words like a sponge. Thankfully I have gotten away from her and been able to learn how to let it roll off my back. I've learned that I cannot change her opinions. I've learned that her opinions just don't matter in the big picture.
Knowing you are hated by someone, for whatever reason, is not pleasant. I don't want to be hated. But I can't change it. Getting upset about it doesn't do any good. So why bother? She is the way she is, always was, always will be I think. At least I have grown to the point of being able to let it roll off my back. She doesn't even know me. She knows the insecure, self-loathing creature I used to be, the creature who she contributed to creating. I have thrived away from her hatred, toxic waste, jealousy and bitterness. (I bought a Hazmat suit on Ebay LOL)
What do I care if she stalks me and reads this? It doesn't matter to me. If that's how she gets her jollies, well then, that makes her the fucking twisted freak doesn't it? I was right, she does get pleasure from my "misfortunes". That has nothing to do with me. It certainly has nothing to do with what type of person I am.
But that's what she's done all along, project her own faults, guilts and inadequacies onto me. Accusing me of all the things she is guilty of. It's bizarre.
I was so naive as a kid. I thought when someone called themselves your friend, it meant they were your friend. I had no idea that she had issues of her own which were much worse than my own. She never talked about it, how was I to know? Our "friendship" was toxic from day one. I allowed her to destroy me because I didn't know any better. To hear the things she says about me, you'd think she doesn't know me at all. It's true, she doesn't know me at all. I think she was, and still is, so busy wallowing in her own shit, she can't see anything else.
I read a couple of quotes yesterday that really jumped out at me.
"Drama is life with the dull bits cut out." Alfred Hitchcock
"Only when the power of love overcomes the love of power will the world know peace." Jimi Hendrix
I love Jimi Hendrix, well, I love his music. Another great musician taken too soon.
Yesterday was beautiful. Not too cold. Big fat snowflakes drifting down lazily like feathers. The day before it had snowed all night and day, steadily. I felt a little silly heading out to a town 20 miles away to pick up some free pottery. The roads were an icy mess. But I'm glad we went. I got 5 beautiful pieces of Blue Mountain pottery. Yay Freecycle! I've had some interest but no takers yet for some more stuff I posted. One thing is a big bag of Hubbys shirts. Yes he actually went through his pile of clothes for me, finally. Most of it is unworn, was gifts that didn't fit. Some of it was worn once and shrank when washed. I'd keep some of it for myself, but even shrunk, it's way too big for me. If no one takes it by the weekend, it's off to the Salvation Army.
I partially dragged out one of my sewing machines, oh boy. That's me, intimidated by a sewing machine lol. I need Hubbys help moving it and wouldn't you know he's napping.
Well, I'm going to go see if I can get it set up by myself. It looks like it's going to be a sunny day for a change, yay. So enjoy your day, try not to get hit by any toxic waste.
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