Shock, Dead Birds And Stargazer Lilies
I think I'm in shock. The way I am feeling, that's the only thing that seems to fit. I am in shock.
My daughter comments on my blog to tell me she is moving away to another province. It was my understanding that she was coming up here for a visit this weekend, why couldn't she tell me then? Why tell me the way she did? For the shock value? If so, it worked. She has since ignored all emails and phone calls.
I feel like I may never see my daughter again, and it is heartbreaking. I don't know when she became so mean and thoughtless and selfish. But she did obviously. I am left unable to function. Last night every time I fell asleep I soon woke up crying and sobbing. I've been unable to do anything today. I can't even force myself to get dressed. The one thing I did do was go outside for some warmth and took pictures of flowers, in my robe, in the middle of the day. What must the neighbours think? LOL Not that I give a damn. I can't eat, my stomach is very upset. I can't sleep. I feel chilled like I have a fever. I feel incredibly sad. I feel incredibly alone. I know I'm not alone, but I feel alone. I am just in shock.
Yesterday was traumatic. The boys, my darling little boys, killed a baby robin. The poor thing. It was flopping around on the ground and Eddie went after it. He wouldn't leave it alone and I couldn't get him away from it. Finally he picked it up in his mouth and I think that did it in. Once I got him to drop it, Bear decided to get in on the action and he picked it up too. For sure it was dead after that. Bear sees Eddie get away with so much so he tries doing it too. Like jumping up on me, like picking up baby birds, like climbing on the couch like some kind of cat. I think the new kids, little kids, next door witnessed the killing because they were out there screaming and crying throughout the whole ordeal. I wonder if its the same bird I found a couple of weeks ago. Well he's out of his misery now.
This has really given me second thoughts on keeping Eddie. If I can find him a good home to go to, he's out of here.
Speaking of birds, I notice there is an article in one of the local papers about those Osprey birds down the road. We haven't been by lately to see them. I haven't read the article, so not sure what its about. I did catch that they are banding the birds, I guess the new babies.
And now on to my pictures. These are I believe Stargazer Lilies. Don't really remember planting them. This is the first year they've bloomed.
I vaguely recall buying them, but don't remember planting them there. I am so upset about my daughter I can't think straight anyways. I have no idea if she will be coming up this weekend or not. I just feel that I may never see her again. You know how it feels when someone dies and you know you'll never see them again? It's like that kind of feeling. We have so little family left. That may be one of the attractions for her moving where she has tons of family on her fathers side. But where does that leave us? With one less family member in an already depleted family. It's so sad that we just started speaking again after the fiasco of last Christmas. I will miss her terribly and so will her little sister.
Ah well, have a good day y'all.
My daughter comments on my blog to tell me she is moving away to another province. It was my understanding that she was coming up here for a visit this weekend, why couldn't she tell me then? Why tell me the way she did? For the shock value? If so, it worked. She has since ignored all emails and phone calls.
I feel like I may never see my daughter again, and it is heartbreaking. I don't know when she became so mean and thoughtless and selfish. But she did obviously. I am left unable to function. Last night every time I fell asleep I soon woke up crying and sobbing. I've been unable to do anything today. I can't even force myself to get dressed. The one thing I did do was go outside for some warmth and took pictures of flowers, in my robe, in the middle of the day. What must the neighbours think? LOL Not that I give a damn. I can't eat, my stomach is very upset. I can't sleep. I feel chilled like I have a fever. I feel incredibly sad. I feel incredibly alone. I know I'm not alone, but I feel alone. I am just in shock.
Yesterday was traumatic. The boys, my darling little boys, killed a baby robin. The poor thing. It was flopping around on the ground and Eddie went after it. He wouldn't leave it alone and I couldn't get him away from it. Finally he picked it up in his mouth and I think that did it in. Once I got him to drop it, Bear decided to get in on the action and he picked it up too. For sure it was dead after that. Bear sees Eddie get away with so much so he tries doing it too. Like jumping up on me, like picking up baby birds, like climbing on the couch like some kind of cat. I think the new kids, little kids, next door witnessed the killing because they were out there screaming and crying throughout the whole ordeal. I wonder if its the same bird I found a couple of weeks ago. Well he's out of his misery now.
This has really given me second thoughts on keeping Eddie. If I can find him a good home to go to, he's out of here.
Speaking of birds, I notice there is an article in one of the local papers about those Osprey birds down the road. We haven't been by lately to see them. I haven't read the article, so not sure what its about. I did catch that they are banding the birds, I guess the new babies.
And now on to my pictures. These are I believe Stargazer Lilies. Don't really remember planting them. This is the first year they've bloomed.
I vaguely recall buying them, but don't remember planting them there. I am so upset about my daughter I can't think straight anyways. I have no idea if she will be coming up this weekend or not. I just feel that I may never see her again. You know how it feels when someone dies and you know you'll never see them again? It's like that kind of feeling. We have so little family left. That may be one of the attractions for her moving where she has tons of family on her fathers side. But where does that leave us? With one less family member in an already depleted family. It's so sad that we just started speaking again after the fiasco of last Christmas. I will miss her terribly and so will her little sister.
Ah well, have a good day y'all.
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