~Charlene's Web~

Sunshine, Laughter And Friends Are Always Welcome!

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Location: Ontario, Canada

I'm happily married to Mr. Man. We have 2 daughters, Big R and Little R. I'm a stay at home mom. We moved from the big city to the country, living a dream. I'm a collector and a packrat. I'd rather read a book than watch a movie. I battle depression. I love life, but that wasn't always the case. This is my journal.

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Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Talk

It's another damn cold day. I don't think it's as cold as it feels in this house though. This house is like sitting in a fridge. Looks like it's trying to snow again too, it's flurrying. Everything is covered in ice. Mr. Man couldn't even park the car in the driveway, he left it out on the street, because the driveway is just such an icy mess. I am so eager for spring. Each year seems to get a little harder to deal with the winter. The cost of propane is forcing us to try to be conservative, which means being cold all the time. I turned the furnace up today, to hell with it, I'm cold and aching from it. Why suffer when I don't have to? Mr. Man is having a nap right now, I'm sure he'll turn the heat down as soon as he gets up.

Well, talking with Little R didn't go so well yesterday. Since we were all up half the night she stayed home from school. We just didn't wake her up in the morning. She was miffed about that, how ironic. I think she was just upset about Mr. Man going to the school to discuss her skipping. I think that's what it was all about. I am hoping some of what I said sank in. I ended up getting frustrated and made the mistake of telling her to go ahead and leave. While I was busy poking the fire she snuck out. I thought I heard her getting ready to go out and when I went upstairs to stop her she was already gone. I panicked and called Mr. Man at work. He headed home right away. I just assumed she was going to make her way to town, meet up with her friends and pull the same stunt of not coming home. Within a half hour she came back, mail in hand, as if nothing had happened. I didn't think to call Mr. Man back because I knew he was on his way home. He told me I should have called him so he could slow down. Apparently he drove like a madman and was looking for her at the same time. By the time he got here, all was calm and it was as if nothing ever happened.

I understand that she is bored and lonely living here in the middle of nowhere. I remember being 14. I know her friends seem very important to her. But all she has to do is ask. We don't mind driving her to town to see her friends. She says we hate her friends. Really there's only one of them we don't like and with good reason. We don't even know her friends. It's all new people she's met at high school and they all live in town. Oh well, as I say, I hope some of what I said sank in. I hope we don't have to go through that again. When I was a kid you could be charged for truancy. I don't know if they still do that. I would hate to see it go that far for her. Let's be honest, when I was her age I did get charged for truancy. I hated school. I know first hand what path she is headed down. I so want to handle it differently than my parents did. I think I'm doing pretty good as far as that goes. I want a better outcome for her than what happened with me. I did drop out of school in grade 9. Obviously I now wish I hadn't. I don't want her to have the same regrets, I want her to learn from my mistakes. So we'll just keep on talking, hoping it makes sense to her and sinks in.

Mr. Man is up from his nap. I don't think he realizes yet that the heat is turned up. The flurries have turned to snow. It feels like it will never end. I'm off to make dinner. There's no better time to talk than around a good home-cooked meal. Have a lovely evening.

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