~Charlene's Web~

Sunshine, Laughter And Friends Are Always Welcome!

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Location: Ontario, Canada

I'm happily married to Mr. Man. We have 2 daughters, Big R and Little R. I'm a stay at home mom. We moved from the big city to the country, living a dream. I'm a collector and a packrat. I'd rather read a book than watch a movie. I battle depression. I love life, but that wasn't always the case. This is my journal.

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Sunday, June 28, 2009

Alone With My Withdrawals

Today is SWs and Ts birthdays. Both of them are out of town. So Happy Birthday you two, hope you had a great day, even without me there lol.

I've been wanting to post photos for the longest time, but I'm forced to use the laptop and all my pictures are on the desktop. Hopefully Mr. Man will fix the desktop soon.

Speaking of Mr. Man he's back over at S & Ds place working on the bike again. I'm home alone and bored silly. It truly sucks to not have a yard. It rained most of the day but the sun is out now. They're calling for rain all week. I'd like to get outside and enjoy the sun while I can. Alas, we get the morning sun and nothing in the afternoon. I noticed yesterday that I am very white. Normally by this time of year I would have a decent tan. The only time I go out now is to walk the dog and that isn't very far, we just go around the property of the building. I'm still too nervous to take him out on the street. Every day I think about going for a walk, but I don't know where to go and I feel guilty leaving the dog at home and I'm not bringing him out on the streets. I hope I'll get over that fear at some point.

The plan was to spend the weekend finishing the unpacking and starting to hang stuff on the walls. Then Mr. Man changed the plan to working on the bike all weekend. Man do I feel ripped off. I wouldn't feel that way if the bike was actually running and we could go for a scoot. First he said we'd be riding in 2 weeks, now he says by the end of July.

God help me, I can't believe I live in an apartment. I really can't stand it. I thought I would try to make the best of it, but we really need to unpack for that to happen. And buy dressers. And get an air conditioner. And hang the dart board. And a million other little things. It isn't home. Not even close. But it could be more so than it is. I'm not impressed with Mr. Man at this point. Meanwhile I keep looking in the paper for houses to rent. We will be stuck renting for I don't know how long. Oh the whole thing is so damn sad. I'm fighting the depression. I mean at least now there is no more lounging around in my jammies all day. I have to get up and get dressed to take the dog out every morning. I have to take him out throughout the day too so it keeps me from getting back into my jammies. This is a good thing. But it's about the only good thing.

We are invited to a friends place out on Lake Erie next weekend. I haven't accepted or declined yet. I think it will be good for us. I think we'll enjoy it. We'll get to spend time at a beach! I might even get a tan. But that is weather permitting. The forecast isn't looking good. So I don't know.

I won't say what it is, but I've been addicted to a certain medication for the last few years. It's all legal. I've decided to get off of it. I've been weaning off the last couple of weeks. Today is my first day without any. I am experiencing withdrawals. I'm having my moments. I know it's the right thing to do. It's just very hard. I just wish Mr. Man would come home so we can get busy and get my mind off of it. Well he should be home soon. Wish me luck. Have a great evening.

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