~Charlene's Web~

Sunshine, Laughter And Friends Are Always Welcome!

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Name:
Location: Ontario, Canada

I'm happily married to Mr. Man. We have 2 daughters, Big R and Little R. I'm a stay at home mom. We moved from the big city to the country, living a dream. I'm a collector and a packrat. I'd rather read a book than watch a movie. I battle depression. I love life, but that wasn't always the case. This is my journal.

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Sunday, December 17, 2006

Bring On The Booze!

Good morning.
Here I am at 4 a.m. I fell into bed exhausted quite early last night. When Hubby drove my father home, Little R and I took Bear for a little walk and then came home to bed. I didn't even hear Hubby come in, thats odd. The darling brought me a Timmys which I am enjoying now.
The dinner with my father went as well as could be expected. I wasn't happy with how some of the food turned out, but thats me, they ate it. The gravy was runny, the Yorkshire Pudding stuck to the pan, that type of thing. I had the table half set and was having dilemmas over matching serving dishes etc. and then I look at my china cabinet and it hit me, DUH, use your mothers dishes! It wasn't long ago that 2 boxes of my mothers "good china" were discovered buried in the widows shed and were then given to me. These dishes hold fond memories of big family dinners. They are very old, and are fine china, Johnson Bros. from England. I couldn't find the teapot however and am not sure if I ever got it or not. I don't drink tea but my father does with every supper. He recognised the dishes right away. Hubby had asked me, "do you think he'll even notice?" I thought he would, and he did as soon as he walked up to the table. He then proceeded to tell us how these were "mommy's good dishes" and they were used for Christmas dinners etc. I've had them displayed in my china cabinet for a year or two and had never used them before. I have too many sets of dishes to choose from. I also have my parents silver which I never use.
Anyhow, after dinner and dessert, father noticed my new painting hanging on the wall. I fell absolutely in love with this picture the minute I saw it and had to have it. We were going to buy it for me and were putting a deposit on it, but then I decided my father might love it too, so we just bought it for him. Then I realized I couldn't part with it, and wouldn't feel right giving it to him and asking him to leave it to me. So we went back to get one for him. There wasn't another one the same of course, but there was one, by the same artist, and I believe its the same house in the picture, just from a different angle, and mine is in winter (of course!) and the one we ended up getting for my dad is in spring. I thought he would appreciate the more colourfulness from what I know of his taste in paintings. So him admiring my new acquisition led perfectly into presenting him with his. He didn't want to open it! "It isn't Christmas yet" he said. Grrrrrr. Its only a week away, and I have other stuff for you that you can open at Christmas, go ahead, please! He did, against his will, and he said, oh yeah thats nice and then proceeded to tell me he would have to find somewhere in the widows house to hang it, because the walls in his room are just too full for it. (It is a large painting). Now, if I wanted to buy my sister a painting I would have. I wanted it in his room for his enjoyment, period. I suggested surely we could make room for it in his room and he then told me what was on all his walls and how small his room is, etc. Well now the tears start. First of all I don't think he liked it nearly as much as I thought he would. I believe he would have loved the winter one much more...sigh. And secondly I was furious at the idea of my sister hanging it on her wall. (I'm just really not happy with her at this point). Well the next thing I know he is apologising to me, saying "sorry, I just didn't think" he thought he had really hurt my feelings (which I guess he did) and he felt terrible for that. So then I hugged him and told him "don't be sorry. I didn't think, I knew you didn't have any room." So it was all awkward and sad. I really thought he would, and wanted him to, love it. I've never given him a painting before, I wanted to give him something different and special. It wasn't cheap and I don't think I can take it back. Hubby assured me he would find a place in the room and hang it for him. In the end it did work out, they figured out where to put it and Hubby will go down there and hang it for him whenever he wants. Gawd.
So once all the tears and awkwardness was over with, I suggested it was high time Little R learns how to play euchre. Back in the day, there was always a rowdy game, or several, after dinner. I learned sitting on my fathers lap and he would let me throw out his cards, very young, very fond memories of that. Apparently he hasn't played in a long long time and he was all for it and started yapping about how they used to play all the time after dinner and how rowdy it got lol. Yeah, dad, I was there, I do remember. We played 2 games, me and Little R were partners, Hubby and my dad were partners, we each won a game. Little R did very well, she caught on better than some adults I've played with. It all came back to father, we even used 2s and 3s for keeping score and it was fun! I rarely play with real people and real cards any more, I play online all the time, but its quite different.
Well, then it was time for him to pack up and go home. As we were sitting, chatting, while Hubby loaded the painting into the truck, father was going on about how small his room is etc. and I said, "well, do you think you would like to come live here then?" We do have a much bigger room for him, more room in the house in general. Didn't he list off all the reasons he wouldn't be able to, like his doctor and hospitals etc. so the tears came again. I'm sure he said yes a couple of years ago and I'm sure the widow has brainwashed him to think he wouldn't have the neccesary medical care available to him here. Grrrrr. Those were all her excuses when I suggested it to her a couple of years ago, beside the fact of how lost she would be without the income from his rent. She didn't believe me when I told her he had said yes he would, at some point. So she has obviously convinced him it wouldn't be a good idea. Grrrrrr.
Once they left Little R says to me "thats gotta hurt, being turned down by your own father." LOL and the tears flowed like mad. On his way out the door he promised to keep me updated on my niece, gee thanks.
And that was it for my family Christmas visit lol. Until Big R comes up on Boxing day for their third turkey dinner in as many days. How much you want to bet the tears flow that day too? No matter how hard I try not to, I'll cry. Then I'll make everyone feel bad and awkward. And she'll vow to never come back again.
I need horomone replacement therapy, the ones I have are all messed up lol.
No good deed goes unpunished in this life.
I listen to the widow gripe about having him there, hogging the bathroom, and I listen to him gripe about his small room and how cold the house always is, but niether one of them would have it any other way. I'm confused.
I'm not a slouch, I want to take my turn. I'm not a money grubber, I want HIM not his money, I want him to be happy and comfortable.
Ah well, its over with now. Let the alcohol consumption begin!
Next year will be different. 2007 will be a better year for me and it will have a very different ending. I'm going back to my old ways. I don't need my family. I have all I need right here.
Have a great day!

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