Will Smokes Make You Less Bitter?
As you can tell from the number of entries in the last few days I'm feeling a little manic. But that's ok. I could do worse things than write on my blog. Tonight is the official full moon. Last night it was pretty full though. I had a heck of a time getting to sleep. Ended up taking 2 Lorazepams and still had to read for a while. I'm now reading another Laura Ingalls Wilder book called "The Long Winter". I'll be keeping my eyes open for other ones at yard sales this year. I'd like to get the whole series. I did end up finishing that Mary Higgins Clark one, something about a stolen Christmas tree. It wasn't so bad once I got into it. But still, she's not my favourite author.
One thing I do miss about the city is having somewhere interesting to walk. Because frankly, once you've seen one field, you've seen them all. I miss the (snowcleared) sidewalks and window shopping and all the junk/thrift stores. Its much more fun to walk along for miles window browsing than to walk by endless corn fields. And there are no sidewalks. I suppose I could drive to town and walk around downtown, but that's not the same as just walking out to it. I'm lucky Little R enjoys browsing through junk too. My Mom used to go to thrift stores and I hated it when I was a kid. I wanted to go to the MALL. I wish she was here now so we could enjoy this activity together. Little R also loves the MALL, but happily she appreciates junk stores too. I am lucky for that.
I do believe Little Rs calf for this years 4-H has been chosen. Or rather several potentials have been chosen and as they grow and it gets closer to spring training the ONE will be decided on. It's too bad she can't just have Gem again, but Gem is huge now. She just turned one year old. I think Little R is getting a December calf this year. Training will start any time, probably next month some time. Last year we were talking about using a Jersey calf for this year, but I haven't heard any more about that. Jerseys are the brown ones. They are so cute and really resemble deers when they are very young. Not many of the kids use Jerseys, I'm not sure why that is. I do believe there will be new leaders etc. this year. So we decided to stick with this club. The leaders from last year are selling their farm! That seems so odd to me since the farm has been in their family for generations. So new leaders = new club, we hope.
Hubbys appointment with the doctor yesterday was pretty much uneventful. It was just a follow up visit. Hubby is awaiting an MRI on his knee at the end of March. It has really flared up again in recent days. I don't think he stays off of it and gives it a rest enough. Whenever we do any amount of walking, like grocery shopping, he uses his cane. He probably should have taken his cane out with him the other night when he went trudging through the snow to be a hero.
The nature of this blog is a personal journal. I don't have a cause, or a business to promote. I'm not into politics, current events, news or celebrity gossip. It's Chars world. It's my journal. It's my personal thoughts, feelings, opinions and experiences. So how can someone call that bullshit? Furthermore, if someone considers it to be bullshit, why should they bother to continue reading it? It takes guts to do this. Especially when it comes to things like outing my diagnosis of BPD. That's an extremely personal issue. But it's such a big part of me and a momentous event. Being diagnosed was a breakthrough, a big thing in my life. It should help people to understand me better. That was one of the original reasons for ever starting a blog, to be understood. To gain a better ability to express myself accurately. And it could help someone else with the same issues.
Even though my monthly visitor came calling this morning, I'm feeling surprisingly calm. But I was correct in thinking I've been in the throes of PMS lately. And even so, my moods have remained fairly level. Yippee!
I haven't even plugged in the sewing machine, so I don't even know if it actually works or not! I've been so occupied with other stuff the last couple of days, I haven't paid much attention to all that sewing business. Wouldn't it suck to get everything ready, get the machine all threaded and ready to go and then find out the motor doesn't work? So I plan to check on that today.
Hubby has gone on a smoke run. That usually takes him roughly 3-4 hours. And that's when the roads are good and clear. One of the things Cathy Anonymous reminded me of, was that she had helped me out with smokes. Back in the days of being desperately poor, she would give me smokes now and then. I recall it was usually a half a pack at a time, and it was only a few times. I'm sure it didn't amount to even a cartons worth. I also recall that I gave some back to her. But it was so long ago, honestly, my memories of it are hazy at best. Those are times I have tried to forget. I got the feeling she mentioned it because she expects to be paid back. That's reasonable I suppose. I wish I had a clearer memory of it all now. Anyhow, in my reply email I asked her if she wants me to send her some smokes, you know, since I owe them to her and all. No response. I told her I'd send her some next time we get some, and asked her if she was still at the same address (which I assume she is), no response. She just leaves me wondering what it is she wants from me now. For all I know, she has quit smoking. But I seriously doubt that. It's a very hard habit to break. And for whatever reason it is much harder for women to quit than men. So now I don't know what I should do. Should I mail her a carton of smokes or what? Will that make her any less bitter? Not likely. I'm in a quandary.
Todays horoscope....
You don't want to conform to the rules and are eager to change your regular routine just to shake things up. Your unwillingness to live out the same old patterns week after week may be the source of both frustration and excitement. Don't stress if you can't perform to someone else's expectations. Write yourself a permission slip to do it your own way and let others respond accordingly.
Well, I'm off to get some housework done. And to plug in my sewing machine, hoping it just works.
Have a great day!
One thing I do miss about the city is having somewhere interesting to walk. Because frankly, once you've seen one field, you've seen them all. I miss the (snowcleared) sidewalks and window shopping and all the junk/thrift stores. Its much more fun to walk along for miles window browsing than to walk by endless corn fields. And there are no sidewalks. I suppose I could drive to town and walk around downtown, but that's not the same as just walking out to it. I'm lucky Little R enjoys browsing through junk too. My Mom used to go to thrift stores and I hated it when I was a kid. I wanted to go to the MALL. I wish she was here now so we could enjoy this activity together. Little R also loves the MALL, but happily she appreciates junk stores too. I am lucky for that.
I do believe Little Rs calf for this years 4-H has been chosen. Or rather several potentials have been chosen and as they grow and it gets closer to spring training the ONE will be decided on. It's too bad she can't just have Gem again, but Gem is huge now. She just turned one year old. I think Little R is getting a December calf this year. Training will start any time, probably next month some time. Last year we were talking about using a Jersey calf for this year, but I haven't heard any more about that. Jerseys are the brown ones. They are so cute and really resemble deers when they are very young. Not many of the kids use Jerseys, I'm not sure why that is. I do believe there will be new leaders etc. this year. So we decided to stick with this club. The leaders from last year are selling their farm! That seems so odd to me since the farm has been in their family for generations. So new leaders = new club, we hope.
Hubbys appointment with the doctor yesterday was pretty much uneventful. It was just a follow up visit. Hubby is awaiting an MRI on his knee at the end of March. It has really flared up again in recent days. I don't think he stays off of it and gives it a rest enough. Whenever we do any amount of walking, like grocery shopping, he uses his cane. He probably should have taken his cane out with him the other night when he went trudging through the snow to be a hero.
The nature of this blog is a personal journal. I don't have a cause, or a business to promote. I'm not into politics, current events, news or celebrity gossip. It's Chars world. It's my journal. It's my personal thoughts, feelings, opinions and experiences. So how can someone call that bullshit? Furthermore, if someone considers it to be bullshit, why should they bother to continue reading it? It takes guts to do this. Especially when it comes to things like outing my diagnosis of BPD. That's an extremely personal issue. But it's such a big part of me and a momentous event. Being diagnosed was a breakthrough, a big thing in my life. It should help people to understand me better. That was one of the original reasons for ever starting a blog, to be understood. To gain a better ability to express myself accurately. And it could help someone else with the same issues.
Even though my monthly visitor came calling this morning, I'm feeling surprisingly calm. But I was correct in thinking I've been in the throes of PMS lately. And even so, my moods have remained fairly level. Yippee!
I haven't even plugged in the sewing machine, so I don't even know if it actually works or not! I've been so occupied with other stuff the last couple of days, I haven't paid much attention to all that sewing business. Wouldn't it suck to get everything ready, get the machine all threaded and ready to go and then find out the motor doesn't work? So I plan to check on that today.
Hubby has gone on a smoke run. That usually takes him roughly 3-4 hours. And that's when the roads are good and clear. One of the things Cathy Anonymous reminded me of, was that she had helped me out with smokes. Back in the days of being desperately poor, she would give me smokes now and then. I recall it was usually a half a pack at a time, and it was only a few times. I'm sure it didn't amount to even a cartons worth. I also recall that I gave some back to her. But it was so long ago, honestly, my memories of it are hazy at best. Those are times I have tried to forget. I got the feeling she mentioned it because she expects to be paid back. That's reasonable I suppose. I wish I had a clearer memory of it all now. Anyhow, in my reply email I asked her if she wants me to send her some smokes, you know, since I owe them to her and all. No response. I told her I'd send her some next time we get some, and asked her if she was still at the same address (which I assume she is), no response. She just leaves me wondering what it is she wants from me now. For all I know, she has quit smoking. But I seriously doubt that. It's a very hard habit to break. And for whatever reason it is much harder for women to quit than men. So now I don't know what I should do. Should I mail her a carton of smokes or what? Will that make her any less bitter? Not likely. I'm in a quandary.
Todays horoscope....
You don't want to conform to the rules and are eager to change your regular routine just to shake things up. Your unwillingness to live out the same old patterns week after week may be the source of both frustration and excitement. Don't stress if you can't perform to someone else's expectations. Write yourself a permission slip to do it your own way and let others respond accordingly.
Well, I'm off to get some housework done. And to plug in my sewing machine, hoping it just works.
Have a great day!
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