All Alone On A Sunny Sunday
Good day.
I was up way late, like til 4 a.m ish, talking to Hubby's demented nephew on messenger. Then I was up again at 6 to help Little R get ready for todays 4-H competition. I am really really not feeling well. I went back to bed, found it impossible to get up again until about 1p.m! The house is empty, hubby has gone down to the Caledon Fair to support our daughter. Hope he gets some good pictures. At least he did have a fire going in the familyroom, though I seem to recall yelling at him about how cold the house is and I'm the only one who ever makes a fire, during one of my awake moments this morning. We still have no furnace. Not sure what we're waiting for. Pneumonia maybe.
Little R and her bad attitude and big mouth did not encourage me to go today. I'm sick of the whole thing to be honest. Its supposed to be fun and I haven't seen any of us have any fun with it yet. Its supposed to be teaching our daughter how to be a better person and I see absolutely no evidence of that either. I am tired of every time I ask a question I get my head bit off or I get attitude or I get a bullshit answer that doesn't answer the question. I grew up in the city. I have no experience with cows or with the 4-H club. Why wouldn't I ask questions? Why is it such a problem when I do? I don't understand. But I'm tired of it and I don't feel up to it today. I'd rather stay home and rest. If Little R's little attitude doesn't disappear, she won't be going to any more of this stuff herself.
Again I am just in a foul mood. Must be partly PMS. Tomorrow I go for "further testing". I'm scared shitless. Very weepy.
One of my neighbours is obviously cutting firewood or something and it is this incessant whine of a saw, it is REALLY getting on my nerves. Need to crank some tunes and block it out.
So...talking to hubby's nephew, just another thing in life to be upset and pissed off about. First of all his messenger name, was it meant to shock, frighten, worry, or what? Obviously looking for attention. So I gave him my attention last night. He made no sense half the time. He is obsessed with his mother and all the mistakes she has made with him. I don't think he has any real sense of right and wrong. He seems obsessed with hating his mother. He seems to use it as an excuse to do whatever he wants and be totally irresponsible. If we could have gotten involved sooner, when he was younger, we could have made a difference, I know it. We could have turned his life around. We could have given him a chance in life. From what I've seen and heard, I don't see him going anywhere but jail or death. He won't talk to me on any mature, honest level. He doesn't know me really. We really thought it would all work out when we were trying to get him up here through the proper channels as in CAS. It is Hubby who is stubborn, who wants it all HIS way. He doesn't want to make any sacrifice or go too far out of his way to help this kid. At first he was gungho. We were warned at the get go to expect some rejection, but Hubby didn't take it well when it happened. He didn't want me carrying on with it behind his back either. He says we gave him a chance and he blew it so to hell with him. Thats all well and fine, but I can't see it that way. It burns my ass because he isn't even my family except through marriage, and I seem to be the only one who cares about it at all. I'm certainly the only one who does get upset about it and still wants to try to help him. He stopped contacting us. He used to phone. We used to know where he was. I think he is 17 now, so certainly old enough to have some maturity. Ah well, I gave him our contact phone numbers AGAIN and asked him to send me email. We'll see what happens.
It looks like a beautiful fall day, sun is shining for a change. I may head down to Caledon on my own or just go out and cut the grass.
Enjoy your day!
P.S TODAYS HOROSCOPE
Daily ExtendedSeptember 10, 2006
Your experiences have taught you a lot about who you want to be, and
today someone else in your life could use this type of insight in their
own life. Of course, your path is not the same as theirs, but sharing
your past experiences with them might go a long way toward giving them
a new perspective on their journey. A casual conversation with someone
else might veer into deep territory soon ... if it does, just go with
it. Open up and divulge a little of your history. They'll find it
helpful.
Daily OverviewSeptember 10, 2006
You can provide emotional rescue for yourself. Acknowledging (and
dealing with) feelings gets short shrift in this culture, because
people think it means being out of control. You know that's far from
the truth.
I was up way late, like til 4 a.m ish, talking to Hubby's demented nephew on messenger. Then I was up again at 6 to help Little R get ready for todays 4-H competition. I am really really not feeling well. I went back to bed, found it impossible to get up again until about 1p.m! The house is empty, hubby has gone down to the Caledon Fair to support our daughter. Hope he gets some good pictures. At least he did have a fire going in the familyroom, though I seem to recall yelling at him about how cold the house is and I'm the only one who ever makes a fire, during one of my awake moments this morning. We still have no furnace. Not sure what we're waiting for. Pneumonia maybe.
Little R and her bad attitude and big mouth did not encourage me to go today. I'm sick of the whole thing to be honest. Its supposed to be fun and I haven't seen any of us have any fun with it yet. Its supposed to be teaching our daughter how to be a better person and I see absolutely no evidence of that either. I am tired of every time I ask a question I get my head bit off or I get attitude or I get a bullshit answer that doesn't answer the question. I grew up in the city. I have no experience with cows or with the 4-H club. Why wouldn't I ask questions? Why is it such a problem when I do? I don't understand. But I'm tired of it and I don't feel up to it today. I'd rather stay home and rest. If Little R's little attitude doesn't disappear, she won't be going to any more of this stuff herself.
Again I am just in a foul mood. Must be partly PMS. Tomorrow I go for "further testing". I'm scared shitless. Very weepy.
One of my neighbours is obviously cutting firewood or something and it is this incessant whine of a saw, it is REALLY getting on my nerves. Need to crank some tunes and block it out.
So...talking to hubby's nephew, just another thing in life to be upset and pissed off about. First of all his messenger name, was it meant to shock, frighten, worry, or what? Obviously looking for attention. So I gave him my attention last night. He made no sense half the time. He is obsessed with his mother and all the mistakes she has made with him. I don't think he has any real sense of right and wrong. He seems obsessed with hating his mother. He seems to use it as an excuse to do whatever he wants and be totally irresponsible. If we could have gotten involved sooner, when he was younger, we could have made a difference, I know it. We could have turned his life around. We could have given him a chance in life. From what I've seen and heard, I don't see him going anywhere but jail or death. He won't talk to me on any mature, honest level. He doesn't know me really. We really thought it would all work out when we were trying to get him up here through the proper channels as in CAS. It is Hubby who is stubborn, who wants it all HIS way. He doesn't want to make any sacrifice or go too far out of his way to help this kid. At first he was gungho. We were warned at the get go to expect some rejection, but Hubby didn't take it well when it happened. He didn't want me carrying on with it behind his back either. He says we gave him a chance and he blew it so to hell with him. Thats all well and fine, but I can't see it that way. It burns my ass because he isn't even my family except through marriage, and I seem to be the only one who cares about it at all. I'm certainly the only one who does get upset about it and still wants to try to help him. He stopped contacting us. He used to phone. We used to know where he was. I think he is 17 now, so certainly old enough to have some maturity. Ah well, I gave him our contact phone numbers AGAIN and asked him to send me email. We'll see what happens.
It looks like a beautiful fall day, sun is shining for a change. I may head down to Caledon on my own or just go out and cut the grass.
Enjoy your day!
P.S TODAYS HOROSCOPE
Daily ExtendedSeptember 10, 2006
Your experiences have taught you a lot about who you want to be, and
today someone else in your life could use this type of insight in their
own life. Of course, your path is not the same as theirs, but sharing
your past experiences with them might go a long way toward giving them
a new perspective on their journey. A casual conversation with someone
else might veer into deep territory soon ... if it does, just go with
it. Open up and divulge a little of your history. They'll find it
helpful.
Daily OverviewSeptember 10, 2006
You can provide emotional rescue for yourself. Acknowledging (and
dealing with) feelings gets short shrift in this culture, because
people think it means being out of control. You know that's far from
the truth.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home