Dentists UGH

Well good morning. Back to the old routine. I am lucky that Little R enjoys school. This will be her last year at this school, then its off to high school. She likes her teacher this year, another good thing. Her friend D.W is in her class this year which is nice for them. I think it will be a good year.
Thursday now...

But it turned out to be one of those days. I must be PMSing again. I was very weepy and emotional all day. Had an appointment at the dentist for 10 a.m. Didn't it start thundering and pouring at 9:45? During my drive, which at some points visibility was zero, I had knocked the light off my smoke. I could smell it burning somewhere and ended up pulling over to find it. There is construction going on all over the place, making the drive into town very unpleasant. I finally get there, in the nick of time and they are all asking me if I'm alright, saying I look upset or something. Gawd. I just said "it was a bit of a hairy drive", then I was asked where I live, where I drove from, UGH, and I thought to myself, they must not have had any thunder/lightening or rain here lol.

Because of the confusion over my previous changed appointments etc. no one seemed to know what is going on. I was so happy with this dentist. I was happy that he agreed with me that I need dentures, no more trying to save my teeth. He always explains everything, he tells me what hes about to do, he discusses finances, hes just been great. I trusted him. Hes never hurt me, always concerned with my comfort. Some how that all changed yesterday. I just had 10 teeth pulled a few days before and I found him to be quite rough with my tender mouth. He didn't explain anything. He more or less laughed at my pain and basically called me a suck. Then he lectured me about smoking. Basically he really really upset me and then accused me of being too upset. If he had ever acted this way before I would have never gone back to him. I'm going to have problems going back after this. I found they do have a website, I was going to send him an email just to let him know exactly how I feel before he forgets what happened, but of course there is no email option. It has been their mistakes causing all the confusion and yet I got the feeling he was blaming me for everything. I don't know, it was brutal, and thinking about it again now brought a flood of tears again.
A big part of my problem now is, the chance that I may have cervical cancer. My sister died from ovarian cancer, her daughter died from breast cancer and my oldest sister has had cancer. The doctor said if thats what it is, we caught it early which is a good thing. But I keep thinking just because he saw and caught that, doesn't mean thats all there is. We could find more and it could be more advanced. I go for testing on Sept. 11th but won't likely find anything out then, have to wait for the results. So I feel really confused about all this dental crap. I feel like what a colossal waste of money. I'm going to die with a nice smile?? I think my Hubby may need the money for my expenses. Don't get me wrong I am thinking positive, I am hoping its nothing, but that doesn't do me any good. I'd rather be prepared for the worst than expect the best.
So I just found the dentist to be very insensitive yesterday. I had myself convinced that I would let him pull the remaining 9 teeth with just freezing, rather than get knocked out and he blew that by telling me I was too nervous and upset. He TOLD me I just don't like anyone working in my mouth. But the truth is no I just don't like feeling like I'm choking, can't breathe and I was in pain. He was very arrogant about it. And he didn't explain what he was about to do, he just crammed this thing in my mouth and it hurt. I really need to talk to him and get an apology and be sure he understands (like he seemed to before) before I can proceed. It was almost like, he has my money so he doesn't need to be nice to me now.
I've only told a couple of people about this possibility and the reactions have been pretty blase and unconcerned. That doesn't help me feel better. It makes me feel like no one gives a shit about me, once again. I'll never forget my sister dying from ovarian cancer, she was a nurse! How did this happen? Everyone so far seems to have the attitude that its no big deal. Well for me, it could very well be a very big deal. Until I know one way or the other, I find it difficult to keep spending thousands on my teeth.
I know part of these feelings are PMS because this morning, my hubby was the most annoying person on earth lol. He wasn't doing anything in particular, nothing different, just his presence was enough to drive me up a wall. I could not wait for him to leave for work and then was upset when he left without the usual hug and kiss and goodbye have a good day routine.
These mood swings and extreme emotions only bolster my belief that there is more going on than just cervical cancer. I'm glad I finally got to let some of it out on here though. Now I can think about other things for a while and get on with my day.
Have a lovely day...looks like it may be clearing up.