Good Night
It's 2a.m and here I am. That's what happens when I slam off to bed at 8p.m.
I did not get busy today, I slept, all day. My awake moments were spent at the computer. I don't feel so good.
I don't know who I am.
I'm a mother of two, but I don't know how it feels to give birth.
I bought a house, but it doesn't feel like home.
I love it here, but I hate it here too.
I don't feel well.
I don't know who I am.
Nothing makes sense to me.
I don't feel anything.
I feel ill, if that counts. I feel numb. I feel lost.
I can remember some of my dreams.
Not sleep dreams. Life dreams.
Sleep dreams are bad.
Playing euchre, online or off, isn't even fun any more.
It's a crazy world. Full of crazy people.
How do you know if a person is crazy?
I don't feel so good.
I'm not sure who to believe.
I've lost faith, in all, including myself.
Where do I go from here?
I have a lot more questions than answers.
I miss my mom. Sometimes very intensely.
I miss my daughters. I miss my sisters.
They're all strangers to me.
I'm lost.
Good night.
I did not get busy today, I slept, all day. My awake moments were spent at the computer. I don't feel so good.
I don't know who I am.
I'm a mother of two, but I don't know how it feels to give birth.
I bought a house, but it doesn't feel like home.
I love it here, but I hate it here too.
I don't feel well.
I don't know who I am.
Nothing makes sense to me.
I don't feel anything.
I feel ill, if that counts. I feel numb. I feel lost.
I can remember some of my dreams.
Not sleep dreams. Life dreams.
Sleep dreams are bad.
Playing euchre, online or off, isn't even fun any more.
It's a crazy world. Full of crazy people.
How do you know if a person is crazy?
I don't feel so good.
I'm not sure who to believe.
I've lost faith, in all, including myself.
Where do I go from here?
I have a lot more questions than answers.
I miss my mom. Sometimes very intensely.
I miss my daughters. I miss my sisters.
They're all strangers to me.
I'm lost.
Good night.
2 Comments:
dont know why im bothering as youll not publish this
this has been happening your whole life..this is what i meant about expecting too much from people. your not content to have a friend, you have to pick em apart, and make unreasonable demands . i personally think its some sort of test you use, but people never live up to your expectations , nor is anyone interested in dropping their family, marriage and other friends to be exclusively yours. and ultimately when they dont live up to the image youd like, you drop em and accuse them of bein crazy.
if it happened once or twice or even 3 times over the course of your life, you could put it down to a few crazies....but this happens to you all the time. no matter where you live.
isnt it about time you start to look at yourself? we're not all crazy, regardless of what you believe
its always easier to blame everyone else, makes it easier to look at yourself in the mirror.
death is a fact of life ..we remember the good times and be grateful for what we had., the glass half full, not half empty.
ive lost everyone in my family except for my brother, but i dont dwell on it, i just remember the good times...something you should try..there were good times ..not all bad and so in order to be happy we accept it , miss them, and be glad we had our chance with them.
thats a healthy outlook. cant change the past , cant affect it so why live in it?
Wow...where to start
Well I guess first why did you bother writing it....and maybe you should find out what thenword friend really means because from what I have read here you are not one. I may not have known Charlene that long but I can tell you that she does not ask for to much.
As for the whole death being a part of life yes i agree but each and everyone of us handles it differnt..we have lots of memories but there are times in life where it seems like you just can't go one with all the losses in ones life. Maybe if there was a lot more support it would make that easier to deal with too, and maybe if friends were true friends everything would be easier...k enough said
Have a good day ...oh and do feel free to reply Anonymous....cheers SW
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