There Is Hope

So now you know what kind of hell I've been living through all summer long. Mr. Man living in a trailer around the corner, unable to come home. Little R running away from home several times. Court appearances, CAS workers. It's just been brutal. The whole summer slipped away.

Today was the first nice day we've had in a week. What did I do all day? I sat inside reading my blog archives of course. Jeez. I actually started reading it last night and had to finish which took me all day today.

I put what I could of the garbage out last night. Some of the bags were just too heavy after being rained on for a week. At least I forced myself to get up and get dressed this morning and got out there with the wheelbarrow and got it all out in time. It was a double week because last week was a holiday.

I had the opportunity to cross paths with D nextdoor today. We actually said hi to each other. I got the feeling that if I stopped to chat she would have talked to me. There is still hope.

Tomorrow morning I'm going for blood tests. I have to fast for 12 hours. The lab opens at 7, so I'll be leaving around 6. There is always a line up. Just want to get it over and done as early as possible. Then Mr. Man has a doctor appointment at 9:30, so we'll have 2 and a half hours to kill. We'll probably get breakfast and coffee.

I'm thinking tomorrow is going to be nice like today was. I'm going to try to get outside and get some stuff done around the house, just cleaning up and puttering. It's awfully lonely with SW out of town. But Little R will be here to keep me company.

I have an appointment on the 20th to go see my therapist and the doctor to get me on anti-depressants. That's also when we'll be setting up our family counselling. There is a light at the end of this tunnel of hell. Hopefully at the end of September when we go back to court it will just get thrown out. But meanwhile at least Mr. Man and Little R are now allowed to communicate. At least he can come around the house. Things are looking up. I never expected it to go on this long. But it has, and it really burned our summer.

All this past week felt like fall. But I know there's more summer to come. And I plan on enjoying it. I'll be out there tomorrow. Maybe I'll even get to take my laptop outside. That was the whole point of it, so I could use it outside in the summer. Mr. Man had it over at the trailer for months. Now I have it back. All summer I was supposed to be blogging from my patio.

I think it's too late to bother with the hummingbird feeders. But I can still fill the seed feeders and see what happens. We still have a couple of long weekends coming up, Labour Day and Thanksgiving. All is not lost. I don't think I'll be able to cram a whole summer into August and September, but I can try. The thing is, when we were hanging around the trailer every day we never went outside. Sure I spent one day in the sun with SW and one evening we had a bonfire, where she actually burned her wedding dress, but Mr. Man wouldn't join us. I've never watched so many movies before in my life. We have a whole new collection of movies.

Now that the bail conditions have been changed and the house is cleaned up and our family is healing and mending, I feel a little better. I feel lighter. I feel more eager to do things. One more thing I have to do tomorrow is call the dentist and get an appointment to have my dentures relined. I've been putting it off for months.

So things are looking up. I have hope again. I'm ready to start living my life again. I'm sure that will help the family overall too. My depression affects them too. But things are going to change around here.

I'm off to bed. Have a great night.