~Charlene's Web~

Sunshine, Laughter And Friends Are Always Welcome!

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Location: Ontario, Canada

I'm happily married to Mr. Man. We have 2 daughters, Big R and Little R. I'm a stay at home mom. We moved from the big city to the country, living a dream. I'm a collector and a packrat. I'd rather read a book than watch a movie. I battle depression. I love life, but that wasn't always the case. This is my journal.

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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Life Is Scarey

I'm thinking spring has sprung. The snow is pretty much gone and we've had some nice days. The sun is shining. Today is still cold though. I haven't been out to look around and see if my spring flowers are starting to sprout. We'll still probably get one more blast of winter before it's truly spring.

Well, as predicted Little R has dropped out of school. She reminds me of myself at that age. She just won't listen to reason. She is screwing up her life but can't see it. She's coming and going as she pleases and won't tell us where she's been. Mr. Man is pretty fed up and frustrated with her. He is tired of worrying about her. I just keep thinking, I did the same things when I was her age and I survived.

I'm getting used to T being gone, but I do miss him. Mr. Man talks to him on the phone. I miss my dart buddy. Mr. Man never feels up to playing darts any more. Last week was our 11th Anniversary. Mr. Man bought some beer and we were going to have a few beers and play darts to celebrate, it never happened. A week later and the beer is still in the fridge untouched. That certainly wouldn't happen if T was here lol.

I've been somewhat confined to the house and pretty much confined to bed. I've been to the doctor. I'm bleeding so heavily and having such cramps I'm just best off laying in bed. I'm faint and weak. The doctor says I'm starting menopause and this is part of it. I had a Mirena put in. It is supposed to regulate me. But it may take a couple of months to work. There's a chance it won't work at all. In that case the doctor suggests a hysterectomy. It is a miserable experience.

I'm still addicted to euchre. I hadn't played at all in the longest time, then all it took was one game with Cathy and I'm right back into it. I was addicted to it for years before. You just keep trying to get your rating up. Then you have terrible losing streaks. It's addicting.

So that's why I haven't been blogging. There's nothing to talk about. Things are not good. But it's the same old stuff. I've been bleeding to death for months. Little R has been out of school for months. T has been gone for weeks. Mr. Man is miserable. We're all miserable. And it looks like we'll be moving soon. I don't want to leave here. I can't even imagine packing this place up. I really should get back on Ebay and start trying to sell stuff off. I haven't bothered with it since before Christmas. You just have no idea the amount of crap we have accumulated here. It's unreal. There's no way we could move all this stuff. I just keep hoping we don't have to move. I'm in denial. The truth is we may lose the house. One more thing to be miserable about. We are not prepared. Like I say I'm in denial and keep hoping. Meanwhile I should be getting ready to move. But I'm in no condition to do anything. It's scarey. Life is scarey right now. So I don't know if or when I'll be back blogging. Meanwhile have a great day.

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