I Need Sleep
Good morning.
I'm burnt. Half the night was spent reading Uncle Bob (for those who don't know, its a blog), the other half was spent tossing and turning, dreaming up my next blog post, wondering why Uncle Bob says some of the things he says and generally thinking about ANYTHING BUT today. Yes, today is the day I go to the Palmerston hospital to endure whatever torture is involved in a biopsy. Hubby, the doll, the love of my life, the best husband ever, has taken yet another day off of work to take me there and be with me. Like I said before, I am not a good sick person. I hate hospitals. I hate not feeling well. I get really really bitchy and I cry a lot. I cry when I'm scared. I've always been pretty healthy or very lucky. But now I just feel like hell. I prefer being healthy thank you.
It looks like our vegetable garden got some frost. None of the other gardens were affected, just the veggies. Still don't have a furnace. I spent about 3 hours trying to get a fire going with wet wood ugh. Ended up just smoking the place out and wasting all the kindling. We have a pile of free firewood, some of it is seasoned but some of it is still a little wet. There is a lot to still be cut and split. With Hubbys back he can only do a little at a time. Not sure theres enough to make it worthwhile to rent a splitter. I'm thinking its a good time for a trip to his "source" of free firewood.
You know whats strange? I was a chronic pot smoker until this summer. I used to have one under my belt by the time Hubby left for work in the morning. Now, I can't even remember the last time I smoked. I never thought I would see this day. I don't know why it happened. I hardly miss it. Weird, very very weird. Must be because I'm sick. I mean I was CHRONIC. Hmmmmm.
I am dreading this winter. The last one seemed way too long. I so looked forward to this summer, like never before, and then it sucked. And now its over. We had like one or two decent rides all summer. BURN. This has been the worst September in recent memory, cold and rainy. Was kind of hoping today would be nice so we could ride to Palmerston, but then again the bike isn't running right anyways. It sounds like a fuckin deisel. No offense, but Hubby is kicking himself for letting ANYONE ELSE touch it. She's old, she probably needs a complete overhaul, but, she has never sounded so sick before. Hubby really needs to just talk to the dude who worked on it to figure out wtf. He's just been too busy.
Dave? WTF dude? Why would you do that? Why talk to Wayne instead of going directly to my Hubby? Or me for that matter? Its not gonna be that easy, sorry. Do you think this is what we wanted? Get it through your heads, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU. And you know what else? You may eventually get through to my Hubby, but I won't be there. I've had far too many people in my life just like yous. It will never be the same. Currently, this situation SUCKS, we're not enjoying it any more than you, BUT....still, it'll never be the same. I have made it no secret, that if you fuck me up, you'll only do it once. Man, YOU AND ME, we talked about this shit, many times. We talked about people and their triggers and you can't be inside someone elses head and bla bla bla. I NEVER turned my back on YOU dude.
Your old lady is a piece of work. She uses an illness as an excuse for being a total ass all summer, before and after. Puleez. I do not need friends like her. She never was a friend to me. The funniest part of all that is, MY ILLNESS probably does have a lot to do with everything! But I still won't use it as an excuse. I know what I did, I know why I did it and I knew what I was doing when I was doing it. No excuses. No apologies.
You know where we live, you have our phone number, you have our email addresses...
Such is life...it goes on. For better or worse. I guess y'all expected me and Hubby to split up after that shit eh? Well, if I had had anywhere to go that day, yeah, I would have gone, but I would have come back too. I don't have a Mommy to run home to. I have NO ONE to run to. That is why I need my friends. I don't need friends who are out to get me, who jump on the bashing bandwagon, who turn their backs on me. My Hubby is my best friend in the world, thats why we're married. We've been through worse than that day. None of you folks live in our marriage. Things aren't always what they seem. I'm not stupid and fortunately my Hubby knows that, and he trusts that I have my reasons for anything I may say or do. And that goes both ways. Trust is a beautiful thing. It didn't take him long to figure out my reasons that day. You know what? That was ONE DAY, out of a lifetime of days. I don't know what else to say about it.
Except maybe, if you have something to say, say it. Don't bother with third parties, that doesn't cut it. I'm not self righteous, I'm not judgemental, I'm not irrational. But, I am stubborn, I do believe in what I believe. I take loyalty, trust and friendship seriously. If you trust me, I don't take it lightly and abuse your trust. If I trust you and you blow it, I don't take it lightly. Pretty simple, Simon.
Have a great day!
I'm burnt. Half the night was spent reading Uncle Bob (for those who don't know, its a blog), the other half was spent tossing and turning, dreaming up my next blog post, wondering why Uncle Bob says some of the things he says and generally thinking about ANYTHING BUT today. Yes, today is the day I go to the Palmerston hospital to endure whatever torture is involved in a biopsy. Hubby, the doll, the love of my life, the best husband ever, has taken yet another day off of work to take me there and be with me. Like I said before, I am not a good sick person. I hate hospitals. I hate not feeling well. I get really really bitchy and I cry a lot. I cry when I'm scared. I've always been pretty healthy or very lucky. But now I just feel like hell. I prefer being healthy thank you.
It looks like our vegetable garden got some frost. None of the other gardens were affected, just the veggies. Still don't have a furnace. I spent about 3 hours trying to get a fire going with wet wood ugh. Ended up just smoking the place out and wasting all the kindling. We have a pile of free firewood, some of it is seasoned but some of it is still a little wet. There is a lot to still be cut and split. With Hubbys back he can only do a little at a time. Not sure theres enough to make it worthwhile to rent a splitter. I'm thinking its a good time for a trip to his "source" of free firewood.
You know whats strange? I was a chronic pot smoker until this summer. I used to have one under my belt by the time Hubby left for work in the morning. Now, I can't even remember the last time I smoked. I never thought I would see this day. I don't know why it happened. I hardly miss it. Weird, very very weird. Must be because I'm sick. I mean I was CHRONIC. Hmmmmm.
I am dreading this winter. The last one seemed way too long. I so looked forward to this summer, like never before, and then it sucked. And now its over. We had like one or two decent rides all summer. BURN. This has been the worst September in recent memory, cold and rainy. Was kind of hoping today would be nice so we could ride to Palmerston, but then again the bike isn't running right anyways. It sounds like a fuckin deisel. No offense, but Hubby is kicking himself for letting ANYONE ELSE touch it. She's old, she probably needs a complete overhaul, but, she has never sounded so sick before. Hubby really needs to just talk to the dude who worked on it to figure out wtf. He's just been too busy.
Dave? WTF dude? Why would you do that? Why talk to Wayne instead of going directly to my Hubby? Or me for that matter? Its not gonna be that easy, sorry. Do you think this is what we wanted? Get it through your heads, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU. And you know what else? You may eventually get through to my Hubby, but I won't be there. I've had far too many people in my life just like yous. It will never be the same. Currently, this situation SUCKS, we're not enjoying it any more than you, BUT....still, it'll never be the same. I have made it no secret, that if you fuck me up, you'll only do it once. Man, YOU AND ME, we talked about this shit, many times. We talked about people and their triggers and you can't be inside someone elses head and bla bla bla. I NEVER turned my back on YOU dude.
Your old lady is a piece of work. She uses an illness as an excuse for being a total ass all summer, before and after. Puleez. I do not need friends like her. She never was a friend to me. The funniest part of all that is, MY ILLNESS probably does have a lot to do with everything! But I still won't use it as an excuse. I know what I did, I know why I did it and I knew what I was doing when I was doing it. No excuses. No apologies.
You know where we live, you have our phone number, you have our email addresses...
Such is life...it goes on. For better or worse. I guess y'all expected me and Hubby to split up after that shit eh? Well, if I had had anywhere to go that day, yeah, I would have gone, but I would have come back too. I don't have a Mommy to run home to. I have NO ONE to run to. That is why I need my friends. I don't need friends who are out to get me, who jump on the bashing bandwagon, who turn their backs on me. My Hubby is my best friend in the world, thats why we're married. We've been through worse than that day. None of you folks live in our marriage. Things aren't always what they seem. I'm not stupid and fortunately my Hubby knows that, and he trusts that I have my reasons for anything I may say or do. And that goes both ways. Trust is a beautiful thing. It didn't take him long to figure out my reasons that day. You know what? That was ONE DAY, out of a lifetime of days. I don't know what else to say about it.
Except maybe, if you have something to say, say it. Don't bother with third parties, that doesn't cut it. I'm not self righteous, I'm not judgemental, I'm not irrational. But, I am stubborn, I do believe in what I believe. I take loyalty, trust and friendship seriously. If you trust me, I don't take it lightly and abuse your trust. If I trust you and you blow it, I don't take it lightly. Pretty simple, Simon.
Have a great day!
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