Our Gazebo

I've been in kind of a haze all week. Every now and then this wave of utter sadness, hopelessness, loneliness washes over me. At other times I feel just very angry. I've been a real treat to be around. Mostly it is due to the let down of the mediation meeting that wasn't. We waited so long for that day. It was such a gargantuan disappointment. To think positive for a moment, there is still a chance that, with new information, the other side will make a better offer. Because really they don't want to go to trial. I can't go into great detail here, but you wouldn't believe the silly little points they are basing their case on. I am very confident a trial would end in our favour and surely the other side knows this as well. I would expect another offer of settlement before trial time. It's the waiting. The waiting is getting to me.

Also I think I'm experiencing full blown PMS, yet again. Let the tears flow. This week was my mothers birthday. That always has her on my mind. When I think about my mom, I cry. I miss her. Many times I wish I could just talk to her. I miss talking to her. I miss having a mother. I guess its safe to assume at this point that I will never stop missing her.

So I've been trying to think happy thoughts. Trying to think positive. Sometimes thats just not easy to do. Today my father, my sister and my daughter (Big R) are coming up for a visit. We've managed to get the house into half decent shape. Mr. Man has been a great help with that. In a way I look forward to seeing them. But on the other hand its kind of an annoyance. Of the three of them the only one I really want to see is Big R. I saw my father and sister the other day. I'm really not in the mood for any criticism or lectures about quitting smoking.

In preperation of today, Mr. Man and I went shopping for shade yesterday. We were looking for one of those shade canopy gazebo things. We haven't had much luck with them in the past. We've had a couple that collapsed after rain or wind. We went to several stores and after finding one we liked, each time they were out of stock. So we ended up getting one I don't particularily like, which cost more than I wanted to spend. It was a lot more difficult to erect than any of the others we've had. So once it was assembled, I took pictures.

That reminds me. Why is it I never have my camera with me when we see wildlife? The other day while driving just around the corner, we saw a deer prancing through a field, right in front of our faces. No camera. A couple of weeks ago and actually more than once in the same spot, we saw a bunch of ducks crossing the road. There must have been 20 of them, a bunch of babies and a few bigger ones. It is quite the sight. No camera. Then there are days I forget the camera in the car and Mr. Man takes it to work with him. Thats when I usually see something around the house I want to take pictures of.

Oh well. There it is. Our new gazebo/tent/canopy. Notice it even has convenient mosquito netting which zips up to enclose the whole thing. Hopefully it's a little more sturdy than the ones we've had in the past too.

Have a lovely day.