~Charlene's Web~

Sunshine, Laughter And Friends Are Always Welcome!

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Location: Ontario, Canada

I'm happily married to Mr. Man. We have 2 daughters, Big R and Little R. I'm a stay at home mom. We moved from the big city to the country, living a dream. I'm a collector and a packrat. I'd rather read a book than watch a movie. I battle depression. I love life, but that wasn't always the case. This is my journal.

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Thursday, October 08, 2009

Happy Birthday, My Ass

It's been almost a month again since my last post. Really just nothing going on in my life. So many of the blogs I read have come to an end. The people I actually know in real life just haven't been posting. Blogs I've been reading for years are just done, over, gone. What the hell? I'm getting seriously bored with the computer. I spend the majority of my time playing games on Facebook these days. Exciting.

We've been over to S & Ds place for bonfires a few times. That's always fun. Recently we took some furniture over there to store. We just don't have room for it here. And I didn't want to get rid of it just yet in case we get another house in the future.

My birthday is on the 13th. I'll be 48. OMFG. That's 2 years shy of 50! Unreal. It's just hard to believe. I don't feel that old. So I invited my few friends over this weekend. I asked them back in September. That way they can plan their Thanksgiving dinners around it. Then I got all freaked out about having people in my little cramped apartment. D generously offered to host my little get together at her place. Awesome. A bonfire sure beats sitting in an apartment. Didn't all three of my girlfriends cancel this week. Piss me off. Ok, one friend told me from the get go that her family usually has their Thanksgiving dinner on the Saturday, plus she lives really far away. But she would come if she could. Well she can't. Fine. Then another friend told me this week that her family is having Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday also. But this was after she told me she would come. Then this morning I got a message from a third friend that she won't be coming because she's sick. Well fuck me. That leaves Mr. Man's niece and brother as our guests. No amount of planning matters with my friends. What really pisses me off is I go to all their shit. If I said I would be there, I'm there. Even if my family invited me to dinner, I would tell my family I already have plans. I've driven through blizzards to be there. I've gone when I'm not really feeling well. I just wouldn't do this to them. So I'm not impressed. But you know what? We'll have a ball anyways and it's their loss. I didn't mention it was my birthday because I didn't want them to feel obligated to buy me gifts or anything. I just wanted to see my friends. Also it isn't the first time they've done this to me. I've cancelled more than one get together because they pulled this same thing. I could go on and on about it, really. I'm so disappointed, again. But like I said, we'll have a good time anyways, we always do when we go to D & Ss place. So Mr. Man's niece, who we haven't even seen in over 10 years, is coming up here tomorrow and Mr. Man is picking his brother up on Saturday. Then he'll have to drive them back to the city on Sunday. Poor Mr. Man, he gets no rest. I don't know if we're going to bother with a turkey dinner or what. No invitations from my family for Thanksgiving. So we probably will get a little turkey. Man, I hope I cheer up by Saturday.

On that note, I'm thinking I should go back to the doctor about my depression. It is no secret that I'm depressed. It's getting old. I don't know what else to do. Previously my doctor sent me to a counsellor, but I only saw her once or twice before it turned into family counselling. So we never did really address my depression. I think Mr. Man is truly getting fed up with it. He isn't so understanding any more. I thought I would rather be depressed than feel the way the anti-depressants made me feel, now I'm not so sure. I need to feel better and get myself a life.

So it's a long weekend, Canadian Thanksgiving. My friends let me down. At least I have one solid friend. Little R still hasn't found herself a job. She goes out every day, but I don't know where she goes. I'm depressed and Mr. Man is fed up. Not only does he have to put up with me and Little R but he has a helper at work who is useless and drives him squirrelly every day. For whatever reason the bosses haven't fired this guy yet. Mr. Man is extremely frustrated. I feel for him. I need a life beyond the computer. Winter is fast approaching. They've turned the heat on in the building and it's stinking hot in here. But hey, that's better than being cold. I don't know when I'll blog again. If anything interesting happens, I'll blog about it. Time to quit wasting time on the computer and get something done around here. Have a great day. And Happy Thanksgiving!

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