I Will Love Him Forever
Thanksgiving weekend was ok. The weather was chilly. Friday Mr. Man brought his niece up from the city and he brought a truckload of skid wood for the bonfire. We had a nice evening getting acquainted with his niece. Then on Saturday Mr. Man drove to Scarborough to pick up his brother. We stayed here and did girl stuff, like I got my hair cut (butchered) and the niece got her eyebrows waxed. Little R took her on a tour of the town. Then we all headed up to D & Ss place for the bonfire/party. I was disappointed that my friends couldn't make it, but I understand. We had a great time anyways. We had a barbecue. Mr. Man got me a little birthday cake and everyone sang to me, that was fun. D got me a bottle of champagne. Bear was acting funny, like he wasn't feeling well or something. We came home and drank the bottle of Kaluha that T had given me.
The next day, Sunday, Mr. Man had to drive his brother and niece back to Scarborough. Then he was going to the Reserve for smokes. That's a hell of a lot of driving. He left home around 1 and didn't get back til around 9. Meanwhile he was out of pills and I had called the pharmacy for refills. He was going to pick them up on his way home. That didn't work out. The drug store closed at 6 and he called me at 5:30 from Mississauga, there was no way he was going to make it. He really needed his pills. So I had to hustle, hung over, on foot down to the pharmacy. I made it there at 5 to 6. All the way there I had visions of them locking the door in my face. So relieved I made it.
Then on Monday, which was going to be a day of rest for Mr. Man, my father and sister came up to visit. They brought me birthday cards and my daddy gave me a cheque. Very nice. It was good to see them. My father actually fell asleep in our new lazyboy chair and had a little nap. Mr. Man scuttled off to lay down too. So me and my sister watched Jerry Springer together. LOL. Even though we had a turkey in the oven they weren't staying for dinner. They left and we had our Thanksgiving turkey dinner, just the 3 of us. The dog was still acting sick. He just wasn't himself.
Tuesday was my actual birthday and D came on messenger and told me to be ready to go at 11. She took me for my very first manicure. And I liked it lol. It was a nice birthday surprise. By now the dog was throwing up. He couldn't even hold down water.
This went on all week. He wouldn't eat and every time he took a drink of water he threw it right back up. Finally on Saturday I convinced Mr. Man to take him to the vet. Even at this point Mr. Man thought Bear was getting better. I insisted we get him into the vet. The vet took one look at him and said this is one very sick dog. He was jaundiced which meant his liver was failing. She told us he was dying. There was really only one thing we could do. It all happened so fast. I did get to say good bye, but I didn't go in with him, which I now regret. We had him put down. He was suffering. It was the right and only thing to do. We couldn't get out of there fast enough, bawling our heads off.
I have been a heartbroken mess ever since. I loved that dog with all of my heart. I loved him as my child. And he loved me back. Life is going to be quite different without him. I miss him terribly. Every little thing sets me off crying. I can't stop thinking about him. I just hope time will heal my wounds. He was 10, so he was a senior. He was 5 when we got him. He was a joy to have in our family. The love of a dog is so pure. He was such a very good boy. I just hope he knows he was a good boy. Not a day went by that I didn't tell him he was a good boy and how handsome he was and how smart he was and how much I loved him.
My mind is just overflowing with memories of him. That's what I'm left with, memories and pictures. And a broken heart. His pain is over and I'm glad for that. I just can't wait for my pain to stop. He was my constant companion. I was closer to him than to many people.
We've batted around the idea of getting another dog. But I don't think it's cool to have a dog living in an apartment for one thing. My heart belongs to Bear for another thing. Plus I'd like to enjoy the freedom for a while. And I gave away all his stuff on Freecycle. I'm not ready, if I ever will be, for another dog. Besides, he spoiled us. He was such an awesome dog, no other could take his place.
It turns out he had been sick for a while. He had lost too much weight which I didn't really notice because I saw him every day. I thought he was depressed about moving into an apartment. But no, he was sick. The poor guy. And now he's gone and I'm lost without him.
It's a sad time around here. We're all so upset. It'll just take time. I have to learn to focus on other things and move on with my life so I don't just shut down in grief. He was my reason to get up each day. He had a good life with us. Yes there is a doggie heaven and he is there now. I will never forget him and I'll never stop loving him. R.I.P Bear :-(
The next day, Sunday, Mr. Man had to drive his brother and niece back to Scarborough. Then he was going to the Reserve for smokes. That's a hell of a lot of driving. He left home around 1 and didn't get back til around 9. Meanwhile he was out of pills and I had called the pharmacy for refills. He was going to pick them up on his way home. That didn't work out. The drug store closed at 6 and he called me at 5:30 from Mississauga, there was no way he was going to make it. He really needed his pills. So I had to hustle, hung over, on foot down to the pharmacy. I made it there at 5 to 6. All the way there I had visions of them locking the door in my face. So relieved I made it.
Then on Monday, which was going to be a day of rest for Mr. Man, my father and sister came up to visit. They brought me birthday cards and my daddy gave me a cheque. Very nice. It was good to see them. My father actually fell asleep in our new lazyboy chair and had a little nap. Mr. Man scuttled off to lay down too. So me and my sister watched Jerry Springer together. LOL. Even though we had a turkey in the oven they weren't staying for dinner. They left and we had our Thanksgiving turkey dinner, just the 3 of us. The dog was still acting sick. He just wasn't himself.
Tuesday was my actual birthday and D came on messenger and told me to be ready to go at 11. She took me for my very first manicure. And I liked it lol. It was a nice birthday surprise. By now the dog was throwing up. He couldn't even hold down water.
This went on all week. He wouldn't eat and every time he took a drink of water he threw it right back up. Finally on Saturday I convinced Mr. Man to take him to the vet. Even at this point Mr. Man thought Bear was getting better. I insisted we get him into the vet. The vet took one look at him and said this is one very sick dog. He was jaundiced which meant his liver was failing. She told us he was dying. There was really only one thing we could do. It all happened so fast. I did get to say good bye, but I didn't go in with him, which I now regret. We had him put down. He was suffering. It was the right and only thing to do. We couldn't get out of there fast enough, bawling our heads off.
I have been a heartbroken mess ever since. I loved that dog with all of my heart. I loved him as my child. And he loved me back. Life is going to be quite different without him. I miss him terribly. Every little thing sets me off crying. I can't stop thinking about him. I just hope time will heal my wounds. He was 10, so he was a senior. He was 5 when we got him. He was a joy to have in our family. The love of a dog is so pure. He was such a very good boy. I just hope he knows he was a good boy. Not a day went by that I didn't tell him he was a good boy and how handsome he was and how smart he was and how much I loved him.
My mind is just overflowing with memories of him. That's what I'm left with, memories and pictures. And a broken heart. His pain is over and I'm glad for that. I just can't wait for my pain to stop. He was my constant companion. I was closer to him than to many people.
We've batted around the idea of getting another dog. But I don't think it's cool to have a dog living in an apartment for one thing. My heart belongs to Bear for another thing. Plus I'd like to enjoy the freedom for a while. And I gave away all his stuff on Freecycle. I'm not ready, if I ever will be, for another dog. Besides, he spoiled us. He was such an awesome dog, no other could take his place.
It turns out he had been sick for a while. He had lost too much weight which I didn't really notice because I saw him every day. I thought he was depressed about moving into an apartment. But no, he was sick. The poor guy. And now he's gone and I'm lost without him.
It's a sad time around here. We're all so upset. It'll just take time. I have to learn to focus on other things and move on with my life so I don't just shut down in grief. He was my reason to get up each day. He had a good life with us. Yes there is a doggie heaven and he is there now. I will never forget him and I'll never stop loving him. R.I.P Bear :-(
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home