~Charlene's Web~

Sunshine, Laughter And Friends Are Always Welcome!

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Location: Ontario, Canada

I'm happily married to Mr. Man. We have 2 daughters, Big R and Little R. I'm a stay at home mom. We moved from the big city to the country, living a dream. I'm a collector and a packrat. I'd rather read a book than watch a movie. I battle depression. I love life, but that wasn't always the case. This is my journal.

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Grade 8 Graduation

I got woke up about half an hour ago by Bear scratching on the bedroom door to be let in. You see it's thundering and lightninging out. He is a panting, trembling pile of fur. I couldn't get back to sleep, not for a lack of trying.

I was having some pretty bizarre dreams. The first one I remember was so hideous I woke myself up. The one Bear woke me out of was just weird. It was going from one scenario to another very quickly. I was just settling into it when scccrrrrraaaaaaatcchh on the door.

So last night Hubby came home from physical therapy suggesting we go to town to get Little R her graduation dress. Luckily they just opened a Fairweather store in town. They had a few dresses to choose from. So we did actually come out of it with a dress. We went there first, tried on a few things then decided to try looking around some more at other stores before making a selection. Well that was a mistake. She didn't want any part of Walmart, luckily they didn't have any dresses anyways. Then we went to Urban Planet. I HATE that store! The poor kid. What in the hell is size 00?? Is that like double no size? So she tried on one dress in there and it was a large, and she didn't even bother showing me, and then just walked out in tears, feeling fat. I saw a kid in there whos thighs were the size of my wrists! I couldn't believe my eyes! I was rude and stared in disbelief. What the fuck? If my kid looked like that, I would be worried people. Little R is not fat. She's no skinnyminny, but she isn't obese either. But that store can make anyone feel bad about themselves. It's a disgrace. It targets kids of that age and sets a deadly standard. Fuckin ridiculous. Anyhow, we went back to the good store and got a dress before it got snatched up. Then we went to Walmart for shoes and accessories. When we got home she tried it all on together and it worked, she looked nice. Whew.

I have a picture of me in my grade 8 graduation dress. If I was really ambitious I would go dig it out and scan it to post here. It would have been in the mid '70s. I still have the dress Big R wore for her grade 8 graduation, but alas, it doesn't fit Little R. I wore pink. Big R wore black. Little R will be wearing black and red. I think I will dig out the old pictures to scan later. I just don't recall it being such a big deal, but the more I think about it, I guess it kind of really was. I have this sudden urge to take Big R dress shopping. We bought her dress without her even being there. I think she liked it. Everything from that time in my life is a blur. She wears dresses a lot in the summer. I used to, not so much any more. Little R does not like wearing dresses, yet.

When Big R was this age, I was a mess. I was just starting to have panic attacks. My life was going well, for the first time in a very long time. I think I was having post traumatic stress. I think I was waiting for everything to fall apart, expecting it. I had no patience with Big R. I wish I could do it over. But obviously I can't. Big R if you read this, lets go shopping.

The storm seems to have subsided. The weather forecast for today was stinking hot with thunderstorms. It would be just peachy if we got the thunderstorms out of the way and the day is just hot.

Hubby is going back to work on Thursday, it's official. Man it's going to be strange being home alone again. Back in January it was a novelty having him home. I've become accustomed to it now. I was looking forward to this, now, not so much.

I'm not sure if I'll have my yard sale this weekend now or not. I've lost enthusiasm. I do want to get rid of all that stuff, but all the good stuff went a couple of weeks ago. I have to cut the grass again already. I never even really finished the back. How badly do I want to get rid of all this stuff? Bad enough, I'll do it. So today I'll make up little posters to put up in the grocery stores in town etc. I should have done that last weekend, but honestly I forgot all about it. I'll have to get busy this week.

There's another house for sale down the street. They're asking even more than the first two did. Man I wish this place was in selling condition.

So yeah, it's going to be hot today. Have a great day.

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