Merry Christmas!

Greetings.

I checked the weather warning yesterday and it was a wind warning. It was windy but I don't think it warranted a warning. It started snowing last night and looks like it continued through the night. Mr. Man has to go to work today, only for half a day. It's garbage day. I had every intention of putting the trash out yesterday and then totally forgot about it. Since I didn't put it out the past two weeks in a row, I have to get it out there today. How much you want to bet he goes by extra early today, just to get his work day over with early? Nothing is less appealing to me than getting dressed and going outside in the cold, to haul garbage to the curb, before 7 am.

I just found out last night that my Aunt died on the 20th. A year ago January, her husband, my Uncle, my fathers brother, also died. I wasn't close to my Aunt at all. In fact I don't remember the last time I saw her. But I did always send her a Christmas card. My brother sent me an email letting me know she died. I don't know anything about the funeral or what she died of. I didn't go to my Uncles funeral, I probably won't go to this one either. But last January we didn't go because we were snowed in, the roads were closed. I do remember the last time I saw my Uncle, he came to my house with my father for a visit. I didn't want to miss his funeral. It just wouldn't be Christmas without a death in the family.

Here it is, Christmas Eve, and I don't feel a thing. I feel nauseous. I feel depressed. I've not been feeling well at all the last couple of days. I keep thinking it's PMS, but then nothing happens. Nothing happened last month either. But it sure doesn't feel like Christmas. Never before in my life have I been this not into it. It's making me sad. Oddly, Mr. Man was full of Christmas spirit, I think I'm sucking that out of him though. He used to be the one who wasn't into it. He thought Christmas was for kids. I turned him around. Only to pull this on him now. Even Little R isn't excited. At this point about all I can do is hope for next year. And that's what I'm going to do. I hope next year I will feel the spirit, the excitement, the anticipation, the love, the joy. I will make a point of cleaning my house in anticipation of guests. I will make a point of inviting guests to my home. If my brother doesn't put on another dinner, I will. I will try to convince Big R to come home for the holidays. I can do it. I don't ever want it to be like this again.

I have a couple of photos of the boys in their Christmas hats. These pictures show their very different personalities. Merry Christmas!