Sleepless

Well it's 5:30 in the morning and I've been up all night. It seems Little R is up to her old tricks again. She didn't come home from school, no call, no nothing. When we went to pick her up at her usual hang out spot in town, she refused to come home. So, we called the police. There really isn't much they can do either. They look for her and if they find her they pick her up and then we have to go get her. That's IF they find her. Half these kids she's hanging around with are homeless. I don't understand the attraction. I don't understand why she wants to be like them. It's so sad. Things were going pretty good, I didn't expect this. Of course I'm heartbroken. It's tough to think of your kid out on the streets all night. I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to stop her from doing this. I'm assuming she won't go to school today. But who knows, she may surprise me and go to school and take the school bus home. But I think that's just wishful thinking. The police can't do anything with her because she's not committing any crime. Running away from home isn't a crime. So I've been up all night stressing and crying. I feel like shit.

We are selling Little Rs mini bike. She hardly used it. It isn't fast enough for her. But of course now that we want to sell it, she wants to keep it. We've had it for a couple of years and I can count on one hand the number of times she rode it. It's a case of not appreciating what you've got until it's gone. At this point we could really use the money. We don't have a buyer yet, but there has been some interest.

It looks like this coming weekend is going to be decent, so we're planning to have a bonfire on Saturday. I've already invited a couple of people over. That means I'll have to clean the house. Thankfully it isn't nearly as bad as it was before. I've been maintaining it somewhat. It should clean up in a snap. We have a ton of wood to burn so it should be a good fire.

I broke down and made a fire in the fireplace the other day. It was so damp and chilly I couldn't resist. It was nice while it lasted. Life seemed almost normal then. Now we're back to the Twilight Zone. Well I'm off to stress and worry. I don't know when I'll cave in to sleep. But it has to happen eventually, I hope.