Winter Has Just Begun

I used to post much more often, but I used to be much more active. In the last year I rarely leave the apartment. I'm just getting old and fat. I'm not happy with this. If I can get us some skates, we're going to go ice skating this winter. My life pretty much consists of sitting in front of the computer, watching tv and reading. Every once in a while I'll do a little housework. I'm so out of shape, skating will probably hurt me.

There's still no progress in the murder investigation. There sure seems to be a lot more crime and violence here lately. Our local police are now under the microscope. Until that murder I felt totally safe here, now, not so much. This town just doesn't feel the same. I find myself looking at every male I see and thinking yeah he looks like a rape hound psycho killer hiding in plain sight. It's awful. This town is forever changed because of these crimes. I don't know if I'll ever feel safe again, even if an arrest is made.

So I stay home where I'm safe. I must admit I'm getting cabin fever. I'm ready for change. I've taken the first step, again. Getting off the narcotics. It didn't last long the last time I tried. I am more determined this time. I know now that I can't even take one pill, not even a half a pill. It has to be completely out of my system. I think the worst of the withdrawal is over with. It was a tough week. I'm starting to feel like my old self. When I get a full nights sleep I feel great when I wake up. I don't wake up wanting a pill. The cravings are still pretty bad at times, but it's mellowing out. I just have to remember that I got along fine without those pills before I started taking them.

Last Saturday night we went up to visit S. D wasn't there, she was off on a girls weekend. So I got to sit in the shop with the guys having a couple of drinks by the woodstove. I really needed to get out of the apartment bad lol.

We finally took the Christmas tree down yesterday. Little R did all the undecorating. Packing everything away was left for me to do. I promptly Freecycled the tree. I posted it and it was picked up within an hour. So now we have no choice but to get a new tree. Mr. Man said he was going to sneak in a real tree next Christmas. We'll see. We may not even be living here by then. It was supposed to be temporary when we moved in here. We still don't have window coverings because we weren't planning to stay. It's ok, we're on the top floor and there's no other buildings around, just houses. But last weekend I was looking at curtains while we were out shopping. I think I'm getting used to the place. I think we may stay a bit longer than planned, even though that ship has already sailed. I don't know, very undecided right now. The place is just starting to get organized. I hate the thought of packing everything up before we fully unpacked, moving and unpacking and trying to organize all over again. I think we're here for a while.

Another change I want to make is to get more active. I want to get out and do stuff on the weekends like we used to. Lately, our weekends are spent with Mr. Man sitting in front of the tv and me sitting in front of the computer, all weekend. He is so exhausted he doesn't want to do anything. But that is going to change. I can't stand it. So, the ice skating. Since we don't have skates yet (and I had a pair that I carried with me for years and years until I finally Freecycled them not long ago), maybe some darts tonight. Playing darts is much more active than sitting on the couch.

They say the third Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year. I didn't notice any difference. I wasn't any more or any less depressed than usual that day. But I can see how that might be true. And then you have the people who are already looking forward, counting the days even, to spring. I refuse to do that any more. I find the time passes much quicker if you're not counting the days. Winter has just begun.

Well that's it for now. I'm off to start my day. Even though it really started at 3:19 a.m. I don't know why but that's when I woke up today and I couldn't get back to sleep. So have a good day and a great weekend.

Holiday Pictures 2010

Here are a few of the pictures we took over the holidays. We have none from New Years. Our big day was Boxing Day when we had Mr. Man's family here for a big turkey dinner. Everyone said they enjoyed the dinner, but I was so stressed out and frazzled, it's all a blur to me. This was our first time ever celebrating Christmas with Mr. Man's side of the family. It was great. I do look forward to doing it again. I don't know if i'll do the dinner thing again, but I look forward to spending time with them at the holidays. Then there's a couple of pictures of when we went to see my family on Christmas Day. That was fun too, but I must say, they are the opposite of Mr. Man's family lol. One of my sister's sons and his daughter weren't there, and also my brother and his family weren't there. There are also a couple of my other nephews that we usually see at Christmas who we didn't see this time. Pardon the big gap before the photos, that's just Blogger, I don't have the time to rearrange everything to fit properly. Chow for now.

This is me, after dinner, on Boxing Day.

This is Mr. Man and his niece's boyfriend on Boxing Day.





This is Mr. Man's nephew and his girlfriend, after dinner, on Boxing Day.

This is me and Mr. Man's niece on Boxing Day.




This is Little R and her cousin on Boxing Day.

This is Mr. Man's younger great niece and great nephew on Boxing Day.






This is Mr. Man, his nephew and Little R on Boxing Day.

This is Mr. Man's oldest great niece on Boxing Day.






This is Mr. Man's niece in the middle, her boyfriend on the right and Mr. Man's nephew's girlfriend on the left on Boxing Day.

This is one of my nephews, just waking from a nap, on Christmas Day.




This is one of my nephews on Christmas Day.



This is my sister on Christmas Day.

This is Little R and Mr. Man on Christmas Day.



This is Little R with my father on Christmas Day.



This is Little R opening a gift on Christmas morning.



This is my old friend at Lake Erie and her daughter a week before Christmas when we went to visit.

I Hate When The Holidays Are Over

I know I say this every year, but I'll say it again, I hate the end of the holidays! Mr. Man went back to work today. It's time to put all the Christmas stuff away. We got a late start, we didn't even put the tree up until a few days before Christmas, so I think I'm going to leave it up until next weekend. I'm not sick of it yet. So much effort and work and emotion goes into the holidays. All the preperation, decorating and shopping and cooking and wrapping and visiting and partying. We did all our shopping in 2 days! The whole thing is just a blur and now it's over. Mr. Man's little vacation went by way too fast. This time of year depresses me. I don't know what to look forward to. It's back to reality and my reality isn't so great these days. I miss Mr. Man when he goes back to work after being home for 10 days. Little R just stresses me out. It's constant drama. It's way too soon to look forward to spring. The winter is just getting started. Speaking of winter, all the snow we had melted over New Years with rain and mild weather, but then on Sunday it snowed all day and everything is white again. They're calling for snow every day for the next few days. I like snow.

I think I'll do a post after this with all pictures. We got a few but not as many as usual. And Mr. Man gave me a new video camera for Christmas. I don't even know how to use it yet. I can do videos with my old camera, I just never think of doing it. I did however get one video on Christmas day of my father trying on the cardigan we gave him. He's been looking for one for a couple of years and we gave him one last year, but he didn't like it, and hasn't been able to find one he likes. Apparently he likes the one we found this time. I posted it on YouTube so Big R and my brother could see it. That's the first time I ever posted anything on YouTube. I didn't even see my brother at all this Christmas. We offered to stop by his place while we were in the area but he had other plans. I really like my old camera. It takes excellent pictures. And I pretty much know how to use it. It isn't even that old. I'm going to try to remember to take more videos with it. I just thought it would be good to have at least one good video of my dad, and now I hope to get more. The last time I posted pictures on here it was a real pain to do and that's why I don't do it any more, but I will.

The holidays always make me miss people who are gone. It makes me remember past holidays spent with them. And of course I can't help but think of the ones who actually passed away at Christmas. I am looking forward to Christmas 2011. I'm going to start planning, shopping and decorating early. I'm not going to do anything to cause stress like put on a big dinner. That usually comes about because Mr. Man gets a big turkey given to him from his work. This time it was a turkey and a ham. Definately going to try to eliminate stress in 2011. We need some good new memories.

I don't want to spend today sitting here crying. It doesn't have to be a bad thing that the holidays are over. So I'm going to post some pictures and then get busy cleaning up. Have a great day.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! 2010 was pretty darn uneventful. We saw more of Mr. Man's family but we hardly saw our friends at all. I've become somewhat of a hermit. I rarely go out without Mr. Man. We've been kind of living in limbo, wanting to move, but not wanting to go through all the trouble of moving. Birthdays were barely even celebrated in 2010.
I think the biggest thing that happened was the murder in Orangeville. The paranoia from that has been intense. Then a couple of months later a woman was attacked in her home and left for dead near Orangeville. It's been difficult to accept that these things are happening so close to home. Thanks to Little R we've had several dealings with the local police. I have little faith in them any more.
2010 was the year we got 5 out of 7 numbers in the lottery. But really, big deal. $1100 is hardly life changing. Mr. Man has excelled at his job. He's been promoted. It's a great place to work. They really treat their employees well.
I don't really have high hopes for 2011. I think it will be much the same as last year. For things to be different I have to make some changes. Now that the apartment is cleaned up for the holidays, I plan on keeping it cleaned up. I'm not going out alone until they catch the killer. We can't get another dog as long as we live here. We're going to be more active in trying to help Little R get her life together. I'd like to spend more time with friends this year.
The holidays were good. Christmas was nice and quiet. We went to visit my dad on the 25th. On Boxing Day we cooked a turkey dinner for some of Mr. Man's family. They are the opposite of my family and the noise level in here from the minute they arrived until the minute they left was just unreal. I was surprised the nieghbours didn't complain. We all had a great time. Then on the 27th Little R went out for coffee and didn't come home. She is out on bail and one of her conditions is a 9 p.m curfew. She had been really good about being in before her curfew until this day. So around 10 p.m I contacted the friend she was meeting for coffee who told me Little R never showed up. I told my husband I had a really bad feeling. Around 10:30 we called the cops. She didn't come home all night. The next day the cops decided to put it in the news. It was in the paper and on tv. This made it more real and I got very upset. Everyone was thinking the same thing, that maybe she ran into the killer. It was a horrendus two days. She came home late at night on the 28th. She had no explanation. She wouldn't tell anyone anything. I will say she came home in rough shape. Because she had broken her bail conditions she spent the night in jail. On the 29th we went to court to bail her out again. That whole thing really put a damper on the holidays. We were supposed to go to a party for New Years, but because of all this we just stayed home. Today is Mr. Man's last day off, back to work tomorrow. He didn't get much rest and he really needed it. He doesn't usually take a summer holiday, but maybe this year he should.
So yeah, I welcome 2011, I hope it is a better year for us. Happy New Year, now back to work!