Happy Halloween!

You know what I love the most about Halloween? Besides the obvious, the free for all with candy and the parties. I love the creativity. The imagination put into costumes and carving pumpkins. Every year I see new costumes and think "how creative!" The jackolanterns are getting more and more elaborate each year too. I love it.

I guess I'll be spending a portion of my day today outside hanging lights and decorating the house. I don't think I'm going to dress up this year. I'll probably just wear one of our many Halloween hats. Yes it will be toned down this year. Mostly because of my ongoing depression. I'm just not that into it this year.

We don't get all that many kids here, being in the middle of nowhere. There are plenty of kids in the neighbourhood and there are some who come from the nearby farms, but there seems to be less each year. Last time we were in town Mr. Man bought a bunch more candy, which I thought was unneccesary, but he says he "hates being the guy who runs out of candy". Well I have no doubt we won't run out. We never do, so I don't know where he gets that idea. We always have tons left over. I dislike when it's on a weeknight. That always makes it kind of a crappy night. The kids are out earlier and its over earlier. Little R is staying home to hand out candy this year. Her first year of not going out trick or treating. Even our house decorating will be toned down from previous years. No dry ice this time. I'll be doing minimal decorating. I'm not even looking forward to carving a jackolantern. Thankfully we only got 2 this year. Hopefully Little R will do one or both of them. I don't know where my staple gun is, nor do I know where all our extension cords have gone. I'll probably spend a good part of today hunting that stuff down. Sigh. I should have done the decorating on the weekend. I must say it's more fun with little kids involved. Their excitement is contagious. Now it feels more like a chore. Oh Mr. Man just informed me that we threw our staple gun out because it was trashed. Sure glad I asked him before spending the day going nuts looking for it! But that puts a kink in my decorating plans now.

So yesterday I was sitting here at the computer and decided to look through my archives to see what was going on a year ago. And to see what we did for Halloween last year. Before I knew it three hours had flown by. I just kept reading and reading. I was shocked at how much time flew by. I felt like I had blacked out for part of the day. It was very strange.

Well I'm off to start my day. I have plenty to do today. Happy haunting. Merry trick or treating. And all that jazz.

The Halloween Party

The boys woke me up this morning scratching on the bedroom door. I figured they needed out, so I got up and let them out right away. Just in time to see it SNOWING. There was large clumps of wet, slushy snow falling straight down. Thankfully it didn't stick. The sun did come out but it was cold today.

We went to the Halloween party last night and we didn't dress up. There were plenty of costumes there though. Lots of people. It was a good party. The drive was obnoxious, its 150 KM each way, and was almost enough to make me back out of going. But Mr. Man wanted to go so I bucked up and made the sacrifice. It was our first time at M.Js new place, which is in the same nieghbourhood as his old place. The middle of nowhere, far from here. They have the whole basement set up as the party room. There was a pool table and other amusements. There was tons of decorations, someone spent a lot of time decorating. I told M.J "you got more shit than Dollarama!" LOL We left fairly early, Little R was home alone and sick so we wanted to get back to her and the long drive ahead of us. I was just getting warmed up and did not want to leave lol. It was great, we had a good time the short time we were there. Saw lots of familiar faces and met some new ones. There was an elaborate array of food laid out, all I had was a devilled egg and a chocolate covered strawberry, but there was plenty of other stuff to choose from. A very good scoff. We played some pool and even had a dance. And then it was time to head home. I got some pictures. I had to resize them to post them here as the settings on the camera are still screwed up and it took HUGE photos.

This first one is me (bad haircut and all) playing pool...

Next is Mr. Man racking the balls and I tried to show some of all the decorating...

This next one is a costume. He has a garbage bag around his lower body.

Know what he is? He's HALF IN THE BAG hahaha

This next one is one of the lost Spice Girls...

It's Pumpkin Spice! lol

The next one, I'm not sure what she was, but check out her eyes. She had freaky contacts in.

And last but not least, the couple in the middle were our hosts...

I took several pictures of costumes, friends and acquaintances, but I didn't feel like resizing them all and some folks don't want their mugs on the internet.

We picked up our pumpkins today in the sunny cold. Got a couple of nice ones from the farm down the road. It was basically a pretty lazy day.

Another Boring Post

It's 5:30 Saturday morning. I've been up since 4. But this time it was on purpose. Mr. Man had me set the alarm clock for 4 because he has a job interview this morning at 7. It will take him over an hour to get there. It's kind of funny that he's going on a job interview when things are just starting to look up with his current new job. We just this week started using the benefits. This is the first job he's ever had with health benefits! It sure is nice to pay $1.50 for a presciption rather than hundreds of dollars. Mr. Man went to see the doctor this week and he was put on a whole slew of new medications, for his diabetes and high blood pressure and an aspirin regiment for heart attack prevention. Jeez. The timing of getting the benefits is perfect. So for him to take this new job, not only does it need to provide benefits, but also a substantial pay hike and a company vehicle. I'm really looking forward to the Christmas party with his current employer. I'm anxious to hear the outcome of this interview. Money talks.

We are going to a Halloween party tonight. Mr. Man wanted me to go with him to the job interview because it is much closer to the party place than our home is. But that would have meant spending all day hanging around in a strange town waiting to go to the party. That was a little unreasonable, so he changed his mind, thankfully. To be honest, I'm not in much of a mood to party. But then again, it's too early in the morning to be in the mood for much of anything. I may feel more like it later. Or maybe not. We won't be dressing up for it either. But that's ok, I'm sure there will be lots of people there without costumes. I am strangely really not looking forward to this. What's that about? I love to party. I think it's just the long drive I'm not looking forward to.

Little R and Mr. Man were fooling around with my camera. They were trying to set up the delay so we could take some family pictures of us all together, without the benefit of the instruction book. We couldn't find the book. Now my camera has some weird settings where it's taking really wide pictures. I don't know how to fix this. Amazing! I just typed the above sentence then looked in the desk drawer and there is the book! We'll be resetting the camera later today.

In other news, the truck is about ready to bring home. The painting is done. That might be on the to do list for today also. Little R has been sick the last couple of days. I'm just holding my breath waiting to catch her virus, hoping it will pass me by this time. There is Christmas stuff out in the stores already! I bought some greeting cards last night. We haven't even got our Halloween pumpkins yet, jeez. That's something else on the list of things to do today, get pumpkins. They sell them at a farm just down the road. We looked at them at the grocery store last night, but they were all pretty small.

I made the appointment to get the rest of my teeth pulled, ugh. Because it's been a year, the dentist doesn't think the dentures will fit now. I also found out the dentures will cost another $1600 which I wasn't aware of. I thought the money we already paid covered them, but no, that was just to have them made, the lab fee. I'm going to have one expensive mouth when this is all said and done. So when I get my teeth out they try the dentures on and see what adjustments need to be made and then I'll be toothless for a few days, sigh. Or it could turn out that they can't be adjusted properly and I'll have to pay again for new ones. I can't even imagine that happening. I'm pretty hopeful they'll be able to adjust them to fit. I shouldn't have waited a whole year, but I didn't have much of a choice, we ran out of money. We are hopeful that the dental benefits will cover at least some of the cost, but aren't sure about that. Not sure how to find out either, short of just trying to put it through the insurance and seeing what happens. This is such a big deal for me. I can't wait until it's all over with. I can't believe how much it all costs. Getting dentures is a once in a lifetime thing, it is a big deal.

Well, I'm off to start my day. Sorry I have nothing funny or interesting to talk about. I'm debating even continuing on with this blog. It has become so very boring. I haven't had much of a sense of humour or much of a life lately. We'll see. Have a great day.

If I Could Turn Back Time

It's 4 a.m on Sunday morning. We just sat through about 3 hours of home movies. There was one of Little R in a 4-H show last year. Mr. Man did most of the filming and doesn't even remember doing it. That was the time she came in first place three times. Nice to have that on film. The other one was 2 hours of Christmas 2005. Those were good times. I really miss sitting around shooting the breeze with the nextdoor neighbours. We used to do that A LOT. I also noticed Bear has gained a lot of weight since then. He doesn't get out for nearly as much walking, or running around, as he did a couple of years ago. That's my fault. I feel guilty as hell now that I've seen the difference in his lifestyle. Poor thing. I'm going to make an honest effort to get him back out for more walks. I think I'll go nextdoor and invite her over for coffee in the near future too. It's been too long. It was very nostalgic watching those tapes.

I never did hear anything back from the Friday Freecyclers. Jeez. However I did get rid of some other stuff on Saturday as well as drop a load off at the thrift store. Yay me. We finally took down our shade tent thingy and got it put away for the winter. I also planted the lily I bought a couple of months ago. In the process I had to dig up the Easter Lily which I planted in the spring but just started coming up. It must have been in a bad spot to take that long to come up.

Mr. Man went straight to bed as soon as the home movies were over. Here I am still wide awake. What does one do at 4 a.m? I'm feeling all emotional. If I could turn back time...

I miss Big R, I can't wait to see her in November. But then, that's probably the last time I'll see her for a long time. I can't deal with that thought. I can't imagine Christmas without her. Well, I can, but I don't like to. She is down there with her dad and his extensive family. Don't know if I mentioned here already that she got a job. So it looks like she'll be staying. She hasn't been gone that long but it feels like long enough for me. The last time I saw her was the day Bear got into a confrontation. I've been paranoid about taking him out ever since. Because I lost control of him and I'm afraid of that happening again. But it isn't fair to him. He was just being a dog. But it kind of marred our last visit together. That and Little R being late getting home from her first day of high school. It wasn't the best day.

Earlier in the evening we watched Wild Hogs. We had heard it was a good movie and very funny. We were disappointed. It could have been much funnier. And they could have at least used super cool bikes.

Well, I think I should try to get some sleep. Though I'm still not sleepy at all. After an almost all nighter Mr. Man has to go work on the truck in the morning. Come Monday I have to call the dentist and make an appointment to have the rest of my teeth pulled out. I know I'll feel better being able to smile freely again. But I'm just terrified of getting knocked out again and of having all my teeth gone. Once they're gone, that's it, there's no turning back. I guess I just have to focus on the end result, rather than my fear. It's just kind of hard for me to see the positives right now. I need to remember how to do that, how to focus on the good things. I seem to have fallen into the old routine of thinking negative and dwelling on it. Thus the funk from hell. It has let up somewhat the last couple of weeks, but it's still there, lurking, waiting for the chance to envelope me. I know from watching those movies that I have been happy and am capable of feeling happy. That's all I want. To feel happy again. I might be happier after some sleep lol. Good night.

Let The Frustration Begin

It's almost midnight on Friday. How did you spend your Friday evening? Know what I did? I spent the whole night sitting here waiting for someone from Freecycle to come pick something up. Yeah. It was them who suggested tonight for pick up. Why do people do this? How damn inconsiderate can some people be? There is just no excuse, except maybe, they're dead. It's just not something I can see myself doing. I had a gut feeling they wouldn't show up. They kept changing their mind all week about when they could come. But to leave people waiting for you all evening is just wrong. No email, nothing, just don't show up. Let the frustration begin. Ugh.

It finally stopped raining today, and I think the weekend is supposed to be nice. The plan is to get outside and do all the things around the yard that should have already been done by now. The plan for Sunday is to finish off the truck and get it painted. It's amazing how my husband extends jobs from taking a week to taking months. He is even more of a procrastinator than I am.

So here I sit, with my bad haircut, which seems to be growing back way too slowly, and with a pile of stuff by the front door waiting to be picked up. Mr. Man picked up Little R from a school dance at 11 and is now gone to bed. It's just me, my computer, the TV and a pile of stuff. Good times.

Todays Horoscope

Todays horoscope...

Even if your home feels pretty well organized, you still might want to move furniture or rearrange pictures to prevent boredom. Making changes in your living space isn't to be taken lightly because it can be a catalyst for larger shifts that need to occur. This is more about adding movement than creating something that will endure. The vision that you express now can bring new energy to other areas of your life as well.
Thursday, October 18

Fitting.
Except that my home is far from organized. I'm working on that. It's about all I can think about a lot of the time. I'm getting rid of more and more stuff through Freecycle. I'm organizing more and more as I delete clutter. It's coming along.

I did end up sleeping again yesterday. But I didn't today. Things are looking up.

Have a lovely evening.

Fight That Funk!

Man, I'm falling into a funk again. NO! I don't want to! But I can't help it, it just happens. It starts off with my sleep pattern. I'm back to sleeping most of the day and being up half the night. Last night the dogs woke me up at 2:30 or 3:30 a.m, some gawd awful hour, and I couldn't get back to sleep. By 10 in the morning I was ready for a nap. I slept until 1 p.m. Now here it is 2:45 a.m and I'm still up. I don't want to be up, I just am. I have to wake Mr. Man up at 5:30 a.m. If I go to bed now that won't be enough sleep. You know I'm going to sleep during the day tomorrow. No matter how hard I try to fight it and stay awake.

I'm also getting weepy. That may be partly due to PMS, or not, I'm really not sure. Mr. Man brought home a baby carseat/carrier today and set it on the diningroom table. He made me think there was a baby in it. When I looked and saw no baby I immediately started to cry. He was just joking around with me. He brought the seat because his coworker was going to throw it away because he didn't know what else to do with it, so Mr. Man said he would take it, to post it on freecycle. I got a response within a couple of minutes of posting it. The point is, I got really weepy, really easily.

Then when Mr. Man went to bed for the night, I was still wide awake and stayed up, I've never felt so alone and isolated. More weeping. Then I start feeling all hopeless and lost. And just typing those words brings on more tears.

I was doing so well there for a couple of weeks. No weeping, no crying. Thinking good thoughts. Looking forward to the future. Getting stuff done around the house. Getting rid of stuff on freecycle. Giving serious thought to what I'd like to do around the house as in painting and stuff. Everything was going better. I was feeling better. The last couple of days have been a slide. Not getting dressed all day. Not taking the dogs out, just hooking them up out back. Not even going to get the mail. Just staying in the house doing a lot of nothing. It's sick.

We got our temporary benefit cards. That means I can call the dentist and get on with the dentures thing. I didn't even think about calling yet this week. I'm still terrified. But I know I have to do it. I can't go on much longer with just a few front teeth. And it's not pretty. I avoid smiling! I'm afraid to smile, what does that tell you? I'm becoming afraid of going outside of my house. That's so not cool.

I haven't had the chance to get out and plant things I bought because it's been raining every day this week. I fully intended on doing the planting this week.

My birthday went by without even a card or a phone call from my father. That's a first. Is he losing it? I worry about losing him all the time. My birthday went by pretty unremarkably. It's depressing. I'm used to having some sort of party or celebration. But it was just like any other day. Sad. When Mr. Man was buying me little things the weekend before, he kept saying "Happy Birthday", but I thought he was just joking. I still expected a birthday present. Silly me.

That brings me to how all the holidays are changing because Little R isn't so little any more. She won't be going trick or treating this Halloween. That kind of sucks the fun right out of it. I feel like why bother. I haven't even hung an autumn wreath on the door and probably won't. That's a first. I'm kind of dreading Christmas. It all seems kind of silly now that Little R knows the truth. I know I won't be seeing my family at all unless we force ourselves on them. There's just no joy in it any more. Last year we even tried to go to midnight mass and we missed it because they held it at 7 p.m. We probably won't even bother trying this year.

That's what is missing from my life these days, joy. There is no joy in anything. How do I put the joy back in our lives? Little R is 14 going on 25. She doesn't need me any more (much). She is pretty self sufficient. Big R has moved to another province, she definately doesn't need me any more. The one friend I have left is so busy she doesn't have time for me. When she does have time, I'm sick or depressed or otherwise busy. I miss the friends I used to have. How does one go about bringing joy back into their life? How does one go about making friends when they never leave their house? I need to know.

After I got Mr. Man up at 5:30 this morning, I went right back to bed. The dogs woke me up around 8:30 barking their heads off. I'm still tired, that wasn't nearly enough sleep. But I'll stay up and fight the tiredness so that I can sleep well tonight and hopefully get back on a normal schedule. But see, I'll be dragging my ass around all day, doubt much will be accomplished. I certainly won't feel any joy. I may not even get dressed. It's so depressing. It's a good day if I don't cry. It's raining still, so I won't get my planting done again today. I'm bored senseless. What should I do? How do you other people keep joy in your life? How do you fight off depression? I feel like I'm the only person who spends all day alone. But I know that can't be true. I used to love my time alone. Now I dread it.

I don't want to slip back into that awful depression. I got out of it for a couple of weeks and I want to stay out of it. I just don't know where to begin. Of course there are things going on in my life that I can't discuss here. I wish I could, but I can't. But even those things, I am dealing with. That isn't the problem. The problem is being bored and lonely. Having a screwed up schedule. And having no joy in my life.

I started this post last night at 2:30 a.m and am finishing it this morning. I still feel the same. Things seem worse at night, not quite as bad in the daylight. But still, it's not pretty.

I'm going to avoid sleeping. I'm going to try to get something accomplished and keep busy. I'm going to fight this funk before it gets any kind of grip on me. Have a great day.

A Cold, Rainy, Shakey Day

I thought I'd have a little puff this morning to get my day started off right. So there I was sitting at the kitchen table, puffing away, and thinking 'I sure hope the cops don't show up any time soon and get a whiff of this'. No sooner did I think that than there was a loud knock on the front door. First thing I did was butt it out. Then I started shaking, trembling, like 'oh holy shit here we go'. Then I grabbed some air freshener spray that just happened to be sitting there, it isn't there usually, what a fluke. So I sprayed that around while I'm trembling and trying to not be seen through the window in the front door. Eddie was there ready to bolt out the door the second I opened it so I had to pick him up before I could answer the door. It wasn't even the cops. It was a guy delivering some papers for us. Man I was nervous. Didn't set a very good tone for the day either.

I had Bear out on his tether. It's a cold and rainy day. He looked so sad and miserable sitting there I had to take a picture of the poor guy. Once I let him in the house he immediately started his crying and carrying on. I do think it must be arthritis. So I gave him an Advil and hope that helps him.

The poor thing. I think the chain we got is a little too heavy too but oh well, it works.

Also today I found that Eddie had somehow got a hold of Mr. Mans old Harley cap. I had to take a picture of that too. Just for proof for Mr. Man. It's pretty much shredded and I threw it out. The thing about this hat is Mr. Man has had it for decades and it was getting pretty worn out. It seems they are impossible to find any more. Every Christmas, every birthday, every Father's Day, whatever, everywhere I go, I look for these hats to buy him a new one. This has been going on for years. I don't know if they stopped making them or what. I've even looked online, nothing. So he keeps wearing it as tattered as it is. Not any more. It's gone now. The end of an era. And I will continue to look for a new one, as I have done for years and years.

The Investigation Continues

Here's a picture of my cake. Mr. Man baked it himself and Little R helped him decorate it.

I was up pretty late last night so I slept pretty late today. S.W had invited me out for breakfast this morning but I got up too late. I wasn't up long before the cops were back at the door. They never did come back yesterday so we figured they were done their shift and would come back today. Sure enough, they did. Again Mr. Man stood outside talking to them. I think it was only one cop this time. So now he is doing an investigation, which consisted of going door to door asking all our nieghbours how they feel about our dog. Do you believe that? While he was busy investigating, we jumped in the car and went to town. One of the things we picked up in town was a length of chain to tether Bear up by the back door. We were gone for about an hour, when we got back the cop was gone. There was no ticket or anything in our door. So does that mean he'll be back yet again? Or that he completed his investigation and nothing is going to happen yet again? When we left, the cop was across the street having a lengthy conversation with the nieghbour who we had dog problems with before. You know the guy who verbally attacked our daughter and then assaulted our dog because our daughter walked our dog on a leash in front of their house and their dog came tearing out looking for a scrap? Yeah, that nieghbour. Guess what we saw when we came back home? Their dog out roaming loose in the middle of the street! Just the other day I saw another dog taking a dump in our front yard. What did I do? I ran and got my camera and took pictures of course. Unfortunately they didn't turn out very good, but good enough. It just kills me. All the dogs on this street get loose. But everyone blames the dog shit in their yards on our dog. And everyone freaks out when they see Bear loose because of his breed. Well not even everyone, just a couple of bitches with bad attitudes.

Little R just came in and told me she overheard part of the conversation the cop had with the complainant after doing his investigation. She's good like that, hanging around on the street eavesdropping, to get the scoop, that's my girl. Anyways, she heard something about "lets be realistic" and "there aren't enough complaints". Whew. So maybe they won't be back afterall. Most people on the street know Bear is harmless. He's very people friendly. He is well behaved too. You can just tell him to go home and he will. But there's a couple of folks who just want to BE RIGHT. Most people are aware that Bear isn't the ONLY dog getting loose too. So it seems the cop talked to enough reasonable people to be reasonable about the situation.

Mr. Man has hooked up the chain and we've tested it out. There shouldn't be any more situations. Bear will be tethered just like Eddie and we can live in peace with no loose dogs. Bet your boots I will continue to take pictures of other loose dogs though. Because someone is still dumping dog shit in our yard. Like the last time quite the pile of it right beside the drivers door of the car in the driveway. Nice. Funny thing is, it was too small to be from Bear and too big to be from Eddie. Speaking of Eddie...we took the boys for a walk late last night. Mr. Man had Bear and I had Eddie. Well Eddie started pulling to the left and then to the right, sniffing, and finally he stopped right in the middle of the road, like dead center, and stooped and pooped! I thought it was a great statement. Like take that you street of whiners. Who needs your lawns anyways.

Hopefully this is the end of it all. It's pretty stressful having the cops at your house continually. Knowing you can't quite afford a fence right now, but knowing you should have one. So hopefully the chain will do the trick and we can live in peace. I'm going to go scratch my lottery tickets now and maybe, just maybe I can win something. Wish me luck.

Who Invited The Cops To My Birthday?

Happy Birthday To Me! So far it's been a stellar day. NOT!

I woke up a little later than usual, around 8. I immediately let Bear out to pee and he immediately took off on me. He wasn't gone very long this time, maybe 10 minutes. He came back on his own so I didn't think much of it. Was just happy I didn't have to go out looking for him or have one of the nieghbours knocking on the door with him in tow.

There was a rabies clinic today so we took advantage of that. We took both boys for a $15 rabies shot. There was a horse in a ring, and a lady talking to herself on a microphone, out in the parking lot. Apparently this is quite the event we were attending. Held at a John Deere dealership lol. Eddie started freaking over the horse as soon as he spied it. I had to drag him into the place. And by the time we got inside he had pulled his muzzle off. In fact we made the biggest redneck entrance you ever saw. Obviously there were other dogs inside, all sitting there calm and stoic, noses in the air, totally ignoring us, and our two came in being total freaks. Tugging, and barking and slobbering and carrying on, like they'd never seen another dog before. It was quite the little scene. I filled out the paperwork while Mr. Man had to take them back outside to await their turn. They got their shots uneventfully, they were both suprisingly co-operative and calmed down. We got a gift bag of pamphlets and treats and went on our merry way. Since we were passing by the place on the way home anyways, we spontaneously decided to stop and get their nails trimmed too. $5 each, can't beat that price to have someone else do it. They again were surprisingly calm and co-operative for it.

We dropped them back off at home and headed into town, we needed a few things. Like paint for the truck, and pop to drink, because a 24 case of pop lasts 2-4 days in this house, between 3 of us, that's ridiculous, I'm lucky to get one or two out of a case, sigh. So Mr. Man got his truck paint and I did the shopping for the Christmas shoeboxes. Mr. Man decided he wanted to make Chicken Paprikash for my birthday dinner, so he got the ingredients for that. We spent a good couple of hours tootling around town shopping. On the way home the phone rings. It's Little R. The cops are at our house! Apparently the lady who got bit by her own dog when it and Bear got into a confrontation weeks ago, called them because she saw Bear loose this morning. UGH. Ok, we're on our way home, be there in a few minutes. A couple of minutes later the phone rings again. It's Little R. The cops left, they had other calls to tend to. Well shit. Did they say they were coming back? Nope. I bet they will though. Dammit, dammit, dammit.

So now we're home waiting for the cops to show up any time. Mr. Man baked me a cake and is cooking his Chicken Paprikash. I'm packing my Christmas shoeboxes. This morning Mr. Man gave me a card and told me I already got my present, which is the t-shirts and sweaters and lamps and the Harley jacket, all the crap I got LAST WEEKEND. Sigh. Speaking of the Harley jacket, it's black, and it's fleece, and it got completely covered in white dog hair today when I was holding Edwad to get his shot and his nails clipped, sigh. I got Mr. Man to take a picture of the logo on the back today to show you. Apparently he didn't notice the big red thread and all the dog hair, he could have mentioned it BEFORE taking the photo so I could maybe REMOVE it, but NO. While we were out he stopped at a convenience store to buy his lottery tickets and he grabbed some scratch tickets for me, for my birthday. Also, I got a nice email and some Facebook gifts from Big R, it's nice that she remembered. And good news, she'll be coming back to Ontario for a week in November, so we'll get to see her then AND she got a job in PEI.

And that's my 46th birthday so far, just chockful of surprises and fun...

Yippee! Freecycle DOES Work Sometimes

Yippee! I finally got rid of a bunch of stuff through Freecycle! It feels good to be de-cluttering. Well taking steps anyways. One load to go was 3 boxes of books another load was 2 boxes of videos. I also got rid of this display stand we had taking up precious real estate in the garage. On Monday we're putting a bunch of stuff out to the curb. There were no takers on Freecycle and I want it gone. I've been going around the house looking for more things to post on Freecycle. I seem to have too much of everything. And I tend to hang on to things forever because "you never know when you might need it." I've been watching a lot of these shows on TV like "Clean Sweep", they're reruns but that's ok. When I'm watching I think, 'hey I can do that myself'. I am determined to de-clutter this place no matter what. Mr. Man is more than happy to help. He is right in there when I need him to move large items. He's being very supportive of my efforts.

We did our duty and went to vote last night. I believe it's a Provincial election. I just don't feel right if I don't go to vote. I know a lot of people don't bother, but then they have no right to complain I think. We need change here in Ontario.

Mr. Man ran into one of his old customers at the bank. The customer told Mr. Man he's been trying to locate him. This isn't the first time Mr. Man has been told his old boss is not forthcoming with information for contacting him. He lies and says he doesn't know where he lives, doesn't know his phone number and tells people Mr. Man quit his job! For the longest time he wouldn't even tell people Mr. Man no longer worked there. He must know a lot of customers went there only because of Mr. Man. Why else would he not tell people he's gone? Shameful. I hope he goes out of business. That'll teach him. Maybe. The man just doesn't appreciate a good employee. But that's all water under the bridge at this point. Anyhow, Mr. Man received another job offer. He seems interested. I'm interested in him staying where he is. I want those benefits. I want to go to the Christmas party too. He expected this a long time ago, but with the old boss not telling people the truth or how to contact him, how could they approach him with job offers? Ultimately it's up to Mr. Man if he stays with the current job or takes another offer, it's not up to me.

The weather has been cold and rainy. So I haven't been able to get outside to clean up the yard and do some planting. Last fall I dug up some dahlias and put the bulbs in paper bags in the basement. I didn't bother planting them this year. I noticed the other day that one of them actually bloomed! I didn't know they could do that. I just happened to glance over at the bag and there's a flower coming out of it. Funny.

Well I'm off to look around for more stuff to post on Freecycle. Have a great day.

Happy Tuesday

Since Monday was a holiday, Canadian Thanksgiving, there was no garbage collection this week. Next Monday we're allowed to put out twice as much. It is also the monthly large item pick up date. Our trash is starting to pile up, by that I mean we're up to two bags now. We plan on putting out some of the useless old furniture we have cluttering up the place. I've posted some of it on Freecycle but had no takers, so out it goes.

Speaking of Freecycle, we got patio doors from a Freecycler. The patio doors we have are in pretty bad condition. The dogs have shredded the screen and scratched the glass. Plus they're really heavy and sticky, they don't open and close very easily. The ones we got are newer and in excellent condition. They're vinyl so they're lighter. I can't wait til Mr. Man finds the time to change them. But then we'll be stuck with getting rid of the old doors. Sigh.

In another attempt to get rid of some of my clutter I answered a "wanted" post on Freecycle. Someone was looking for certain things, and I have them to give away. I didn't get any response back. Stuff like lamps. Because we finally got some new lamps, so I can Freecycle the old ones. But I can't seem to win. I keep getting stuff, but can't get rid of anything. Freecycle is backfiring on me big time.
Well yesterday was a beautiful day, it was a shame for me to spend the whole day inside the house. Now it looks like they're calling for rain for today, and cooler temperatures. I still have plants sitting in pots I need to get planted in the ground. I've lost several already by not watering them enough. What a waste of money. So I am determined to get the remainder of stuff planted this week. Unfortunately my wheelbarrow is still full of shingles and water. I can't use it until Mr. Man dumps the shingles.

I notice a lot of people have decorated for Halloween already. I usually do it the day of and take it down the next day. I think I may start early this year. I've really been neglecting the yard. I'd like to spend some time on it this week. Now if the weather will just cooperate.

I think I feel better today. Maybe I did have a bit of a hangover yesterday. I did drink a whole bottle of wine. It was a small bottle. It looks like I may be getting rid of a load of books I had posted on Freecycle. That would be nice. But sometimes even when people say they are coming to pick something up they don't show up. So we'll see. I have 3 small boxes of books to get rid of. Someone emailed me about them late last night. They are coming today after dinner to pick them up. I hope they show up. Wish me luck.

Happy Thanksgiving

This is my 400th post. Wow. Not much to say today. Got a couple of pictures from the fair on Saturday. Here's me...

Here's Mr. Man in his new hat...

Here's me and Mr. Man on Sunday...

The Pumpkin Delight dessert turned out ok, but I don't think it was as good as the one Big R made last year. She couldn't find the recipe so I used one I found on the internet. The measurements were all in ounces, but being in Canada everything is sold in grams, so I had to do some converting. Well actually Mr. Man did it for me. It was a bit of a challenge. Everyone seemed to enjoy their dinner. I'm not a very good cook. Nor am I imaginative or creative in the kitchen. It was a turkey dinner, nothing to write home about. Oh and I burnt my arm on the oven door, doh.

After dinner we were going to play around with the karaoke. Unfortunately Mr. Man couldn't get it going. Either something is wrong with it or he forgot how it works. It has been a very long time since we've turned that thing on. So we ended up playing darts, surprise. We were playing teams, we played three games then switched partners, played three more and switched again, and again. Mr. Man won every single game, no matter who his partner was.

I'm not feeling too well today. S.W was sick last night. I think she has the same virus I had. I'm hoping I didn't catch it back from her. I didn't feel up to going to visit my father today but Little R had her heart set on it so she and Mr. Man went without me. For whatever reason the hours are just flying by today. I feel like I just woke up but I've been up for 6 hours. Yesterday kind of wore me out. Nine games of darts last night did me in also. I'm going to flop on the couch and watch TV. Happy Thanksgiving!

The Last 4-H Show

There we were, out the door at 6 a.m. Off to the 4-H show. It was a very long day. Little R was in the ring so many times I don't even remember where she placed. I know she got a couple of second places and maybe a third. Between rounds Mr. Man and I did some shopping. This fair had a lot of different vendors. It was a really big fair. Lots of rides. A huge beer tent. A radio station. We got a bunch of new t-shirts. I got a fleece Harley jacket/sweater/vest. Mr. Man got a cowboy hat. We got some stuff for Little R too. At one point, we were sitting in the beer tent listening to the radio that was broadcasting from the fair, and they gave away a Tragically Hip CD. I wanted one too so we walked over to the radio booth. They didn't have any more Tragically Hip so they gave me something else. It's a local band. One of the guys in the band was there, so I had him sign it for me. And we bought a t-shirt. I listened to a bit of it in the car, not really my kind of music, but it was ok. I can see me playing it when we're partying and wanting to hear something a little different.

The plan was to come home from the fair and get on with cleaning the house and making the Pumpkin Delight dessert for tomorrow. Unbeknownst to me Mr. Man received an invitation to go over to an acquaintances place after the fair and he said sure. So we came home to let the boys out and then headed over to the acquaintances place. Let me tell you, it was THE MOST PAINFUL evening of my life. This guy just droned on and on and on and on. And he wasn't exactly a story teller. It was boring to the point where I almost fell asleep sitting there. We got out of there as early as was politely possible. I did fall asleep in the car coming home. Man that was the longest couple of hours ever. Needless to say I never got anything done around here either. So now I'll have to be up bright and early tomorrow getting everything done that I should have done today. Ugh. My mind is still numb from that little visit. Mr. Man jumped right into bed as soon as we got home, fucker. I'm going to join him. Today was fun, today is done, tomorrow is another one.

Surprise

Wednesday evening Mr. Man comes in from work and says "Ok get dressed, let's go".
Me: "Where are we going?"
MM: "We're going to drive to the health card place so you know where you're going".
Me: "But I thought you were driving me there. What are you talking about?"
MM: " (Insert coworkers name here) is picking me up in the morning so you can have the car. Isn't that great?"
Me: "Waaaa waaaaa waaaa".
MM: "Why are you acting like that?"
Me: "Acting like what?"
MM: Like that, crying."
Me: "I'm crying that's all. I don't feel well for one thing. Why are you doing this to me? You said you were driving me there."
MM: "Well (insert coworkers name here) is picking me up at 6:30."
Me: " And who the hell am I supposed to call when the car breaks down? Eh? Who the fuck will I call? You know if anything is going to go wrong with the car that's when it will happen! I haven't driven in two years, the car is making a funny noise and I don't know where the hell I'm going, except that it's in the middle of nowhere! I specifically got my doctor appointment the same day so you would only miss one day of work. Why are you pulling this on me the day before?"
MM: "Ok nevermind. I'll call (coworker). Sorry. Sorry for upsetting you. Sorry for being an ass."
Me: "No problem, I'm used to it."

So I went to see the nurse practitioner at my doctors office. It's not bronchitis, which I kind of figured out because it started getting better and I felt a little silly once I got there because it was clearing up. She told me it was just a virus that will likely clear up in a couple of weeks. But if it gets worse or I start to feel really ill by all means come back. Drink lots of fluids. Eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Lots of vitamin C. Avoid cheese. Get some otc cough syrup. And I am feeling a little better, the congestion is mellowing out.

In the afternoon we went to get my health card renewed. It was weird because it was at the Agricultural Society building at the Fairgrounds. Just seemed like a really odd and out of the way place to go for this. But sure enough they had a room set up. Not sure if it's there all the time, though it was listed on the directory sign. It seemed like a travelling set up. I was surprised at the number of people there renewing their health cards, it was packed. I guess because I actually had an appointment I was in and out in a couple of minutes. I had to have a new photo taken with the bad haircut and all. All in all it was pretty painless. From there we went to Staples to get printer ink and printer paper. Grabbed Timmys coffee and came home. The car never broke down.

After dropping me off at home Mr. Man headed over to D.Ws to work on the truck. He was gone for hours. The good news is, the truck is ready to be painted. Finally it really will be ready soon. Once he gets the truck back on the road I can have the car. Then I can get used to driving again, gradually, at my own pace.

I got a "Certificate of Appreciation" in the mail from the place I donated my hair to. That was nice. I got a birthday card from my oldest sister last week. Slightly early, like 2 weeks early, but it's the thought that counts. At least she sends me a card, unlike my other siblings. I called my sister, the one my dad lives with, while I was home alone yesterday afternoon. Got the latest news on various family members. We really don't have much to talk about. I didn't even talk to my father. It was like "ok, tell dad I called, tell him I say HI". I'm thinking of going down to see him this holiday Monday. We have a 4-H show on Saturday, then Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday. He must be really missing Big R, but he's not letting on. So yeah, I think we'll head down there early on Monday. I don't know when my sister is planning to have her Thanksgiving dinner, so we don't want to crash that. With all her kids and their girlfriends the house will be crowded. Going early in the day should be safe. I miss my dad. Don't see nearly enough of him. He can't drive up here on his own any more. Yup sounds like a plan.

So have a happy Friday.

I Am Thankful And Blessed

I know I've been awfully whiney lately. Part of the reason behind blogging is, for me anyways, venting. It's therapeutic. Sometimes it helps to just let things out. Some posts are done out of pure boredom. Those would be the painfully boring entries. But hey, that doesn't stop people from reading it all. So how come no one comments? Is it because they don't want to encourage me? Obviously the lack of comments doesn't deter me, because basically, I do it for myself. Sure, Mr. Man and S.W and Big R comment to me in person, just saying, it would be nice to see actual comments on the blog sometimes. I had hoped to connect with people through my blog.

There's a lot of stuff in my life which I can't blog about. Not everything is fit for public consumption, and scrutiny. Other than that, my life is quite empty and boring. I spend my days at home, alone, reading blogs, watching television, and wishing someone would come and clean my house. I used to have a social life. I used to have friends. I used to keep in touch with my family. I used to feel blessed. Then I fell into a funk. It became a deep depression. If you've never experienced depression then you probably don't understand it. It's not something you can just snap out of. It's not something I can control, it controls me. But I think I'm learning to fight it. Or it could just be that I'm not PMSing this week. PMS and depression together are deadly. Lately, I've read enough blogs to see that I'm not alone. Lots of people out there suffer with depression and PMS. That helped me too. I'm starting to feel the depression lifting.

And then of course I have to get sick. I can barely breathe. I have an appointment at my doctors office with a nurse practitioner on Thursday. I don't know if that is going to help me. I hope so. Last year when I had bronchitis I was so sick I went to the hospital rather than wait to see my doctor. I'm hoping this isn't bronchitis again, but have a feeling it is. And yeah I had to have chest xrays. So will the nurse send me for xrays? Then how long before the results come back? Now I'm thinking I would have been better off just going to the hospital again. But I do feel lucky to have got an appointment on Thursday, because on Thursday I have an afternoon appointment to get my health card renewed. This way Mr. Man will only miss one more day of work rather than two. He seems to miss a lot of days for all our various appointments and that's not cool with a new job.

Back to my depression lifting. Part of it seems to be all about how one thinks. You think negative and pessimistic and you feel depressed. You think positive and optimistic and you feel less depressed. So that's what I've been trying to do. I used to think positive, not sure what happened, why the pity party started. But I've been trying to think good thoughts. Trying to think about things other than how crappy I feel. Looking for things to look forward to. Counting my blessings. I used to feel so blessed because I was able to be home surrounded by the things I love, doing the things I love to do. Somewhere along the way over this summer I lost sight of all that. And now I'm starting to see it again. I am blessed. I have it pretty good. Nothing is perfect, including me and my life. But it's pretty good. I just need to remember that every day.

I don't know what happened to me this summer. I don't know what made me stop counting my blessings and start feeling self pity. I know I became very lonely when Mr. Man went back to work after being home for several months. He really is my best friend and I enjoyed spending all my time with him. I really missed him when he went back to work. It's funny because the first little while he was home I felt all messed up having him home all the time. But I sure did get used to it. I now think that's all it was. The upheaval of first suddenly having him home for many months and then suddenly he was gone again. And now I'm getting back into the swing of being home alone.

I have plenty to be thankful for. Again, nothing is perfect, but nothing is drastically wrong either. Mr. Man goes to work each day and I miss my best friend, but I still see him every morning and every evening and every weekend. He goes to work to earn money so that we can live our life. Even though he isn't making as much per hour as he was at his old job, he is happier with this job, less stress, less physical pain and once the benefits kick in that will make a difference in our finances, not having to pay for all of our prescriptions. It's all working out and falling into place. It was a positive change.

So even though I'm sick, I'm feeling better emotionally. I'm ready to get back on track. I'm ready to blog about good times. I've gained some inspiration from other blogs. I would really appreciate some encouragement from the people in my life who read this, in the form of comments. So come on people, won't you bless me with your comments please?

Christmas Is Coming

Mr. Mans timing was impeccable. He got home just as the roast beef dinner was ready. And yes he came bearing shoeboxes. I was afraid he would forget to stop off at the church to pick them up, but being the caring guy he is, he did not forget. Yippee, so I can start shopping for that any time. The drop off dates are early November. Sadly these premade boxes aren't as big as the actual shoeboxes I used last year, but they're less of a hassle. We'll make do.

After dinner we went to town for shoes for Little R. Since we don't have much of a choice, we went to Walmart. She got 2 pairs of shoes, plus a pair of jeans and a couple of t-shirts. She's going to need new winter boots this year too, and a new coat. It never ends. She is rough on her clothes and footwear. She gets a new coat pretty much every year. She is vicious with zippers. I wear the same coat for years. Maybe it's just me, I don't know.

Mr. Man had some cool news. His bosses were planning the company Christmas party. That's something they didn't have at his old job. Actually, they did, but it was just a dinner for employees only, not their families, and they had to buy their own drinks! So Mr. Man never bothered going. Apparently, the plan is, we'll be picked up in a limo! and taken to a restaurant in downtown Toronto! and then to a comedy club! This is assuming they can book everything successfully. Sounds like a blast, I can't wait. Whatever will I wear? I'm so excited!

All this talk about Christmas...and normally I would have started my shopping already. Not yet this year. I got a late start last year too, but it all worked out. I haven't even thought about it yet. Usually I would already know what I want to get for everyone and would have a dent in the shopping.

Today is dreary, rainy and cold. I think I have bronchitis again. It was the same time last year that I had bronchitis. So I guess I have to make an appointment with the doctor and that means Mr. Man will have to take time off work to take me there since I still don't have a car. Fun wow. So I'm off to do that. Have a good day.

Just Chattering

Wow, it's October already. My birthday is in 2 weeks. I'll be 46. That's getting awfully close to 50. I sure don't feel that old in my mind.

I'm still sick. It seems to have moved to chest congestion. I don't feel well at all. But I do feel better than I did a few days ago.

I still have a really bad haircut. I don't know what to do. I hate it. It is most unflattering. I am tempted to go to try to have it repaired, but I am scared to death to let anyone else touch it. I should have got up out of that chair the minute I realized she didn't know what she was doing. But nooooo, I just sat there like a deer in the headlights.

When I first looked at the shirt Mr. Man won, I just glanced at it and assumed it said Harley Davidson Motor Cycles. As I showed it to him, it was packaged and he hadn't seen it yet, he said "oh holy shit LOL". That's when I actually read it. It's too bad it won't fit him. It's really more suitable for him than me. On our drive to the Reserve for smokes, we talked about the party, I got more details out of him. I missed a really good bash. We were once again invited to M.Js annual Halloween party. We're always invited but have yet to go. Mr. Man says this year we're going. The only costume I have is the witch one I wore last year. So I guess we'll have to go shopping for that. Unless of course we just don't dress up for it. It's such a long drive to M.Js place, we've missed a lot of parties there just because we didn't feel like doing the drive. We'll see.

I haven't done anything today. I just don't feel up to it. I will be cooking a roast beef dinner though. Mr. Man is picking up the Operation Christmas Child boxes on his way home from work, yay. We are going to town this evening because Little R needs new shoes. Speaking of Little R, she was supposed to go to work at the fry wagon yesterday but she just didn't go. We weren't here, we were on the cigarette run. I won't be surprised if he just fires her for this, which I think is what she really wants. The novelty wore off and now with school and homework she just can't be bothered. But she won't just tell the guy she wants to quit. Hopefully he will just fire her so we don't have to go through this any more. Arguing with her and trying to explain why it's wrong to just not show up.

Well as much as I don't feel like doing anything, I know I have to get on with it. I've been doing a lot of reading lately. I've found a few new blogs to read. I just finished a book written by and about Lawrencia Bembenek. It was a good read. Now I'm reading another Sydney Sheldon and of course I can't think of the title right now. But I'm done reading blogs for today, time to get off my butt and start cleaning and cooking, ugh.

Half A Garage, A Hot Car And Funky Flowers

On Sunday, Mr. Man and I did a cigarette run in the morning. It was a beautiful day for a nice long drive through the countryside. We stopped at a yard sale on the way there. I bought 2 white sweaters. I know, how tacky. But hey, it's recycling. I'll wear them. I had no white sweaters and they were only a buck. So the round trip took about 4 hours.

After we came back we headed over to S.W's place to a) drop off her smokes, and b) work on the truck, which is still sitting in their garage. She pretty much laughed at my haircut, which helped set off my later foul mood.

While Mr. Man was busy sanding the truck, I kept busy walking around taking pictures. This first picture is S.Ws garage. You may notice it looks like it's been cut in half. Well that's because it was cut in half. It was a nieghbour dispute. At one time it was 2 brothers living beside each other and they shared the garage between their houses. When one brother died and these guys bought the house their nieghbour had a problem with the garage. There used to be a third bay on it. The solution was to cut that third bay off! So that's exactly what D.W did!

Then I thought I'd get some pictures of S.Ws hot Camaro. Not hot as in stolen, but hot as in cool.





By the way S.W, looks like it could use a wash after driving on those dirt roads lol.

Then there's these funky flowers. I have no idea what they are, never seen them anywhere else. They bloom in the fall. If anyone can tell me what they are, feel free to do so.





Yes S.W, while Mr. Man was busy sanding the truck, and you were busy inside doing school work, I was busy taking pictures all around your place. Hope you don't mind. At least I blocked out the license plates on your oh so cool car. I didn't think you would mind.

Well I don't need to race with the trash man this morning. I put the garbage out Sunday night, hahaha. I have to get back on the house cleaning. I have all week to get it tiptop for Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday. It's not as bad as it was before the 4-H meeting, but it's going that way again. So I'll get a start on it today. Bear is shedding fur like mad and Eddie chewed up a stick in the livingroom. I think I'll sweep and vacuum today. Have a great day.