Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Did anyone watch the Olympics? I've never really watched it before but this time I was hooked. I had to fight with Mr. Man and Little R for the tv a lot of the time, they weren't into it. I was happy to see Canada do well. I was a little sad when it was all over. I particularly enjoyed watching the curling. Never watched it before in my life, not quite sure about how to play and the strategies involved, but it looked like something I'd like to try playing. We just happen to have a curling rink around the corner. Anyways I enjoyed it and look forward to the next one. I watched a bit of the Paralympics last night and it just wasn't quite the same. Apparently not as popular either.

I know I have regular readers. I wish you would leave me comments. Otherwise it's like talking to a void. Surely you must have something to say sometimes? Especially like when I confess to being a prescription drug addict. I know my blog has been really boring, especially the last two years or so, that's because my life has been really boring the last couple of years. I used to get out a lot more and do a lot more. My world has become very small. I like to think of it as intimate lol.

I've realised some things being off those pills. The pills made me do things out of character. They made me be dishonest. I was content to be in my own little world as long as I had my pills. Our life has been going downhill the last couple of years and the pills dulled the pain. Those pills covered up my real feelings. Now that I'm off them, I'm overwhelmed with feelings. Negative feelings. But I am trying my damndest to see the bright side.

Life is not ideal. But it has been and could be worse. I have to believe that things will get better. I have to get off my ass and do my part to help make things better. Sadly my mind wants to obsess over all our losses. Somehow I need to switch gears in my mind to look forward and think about what is to be gained. Sometimes I just feel too old to be hopeful.

Today is St. Patrick's Day. I'm not Irish. I've never done anything to celebrate this day. Unless it happens to fall on a weekend and I happen to be out at a bar lol. One place we used to live (and I kind of wish we never left there) the Super. was Irish and they used to decorate the place up. I'm hoping today for a bit of the luck o' the Irish.

It's another beautiful spring day. I don't know what I'll do today. I'm confused. Anyways, please leave me comments. I would truly appreciate it. I know you're out there. People comment to me in person, so why not do it here?

Have a great day. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Spring And Change Is In The Air

Old man winter blasted us on the weekend. All night Saturday and all day Sunday it snowed like mad. Then I guess it turned to rain and was all gone on Monday. The birds are chirping and the sun is shining. It's really feeling like spring. This time of year I'm really missing having a house. I miss my gardens. I'm grateful for this apartment because otherwise I could be homeless. As far as apartments go, it's not bad, I've lived in worse. It's big enough and it's cozy. I'm thankful to have a roof over my head at this point. I'm thankful that my family is intact. But to be perfectly honest, I am longing for a house. We have some things to take care of before we can move. It could be a while yet. Meanwhile I am really trying to accept my fate and to not let it get me down.

I'm taking steps to get healthy again. My last visit to the doctor told me I am pretty healthy except I am low on Vitamin B12. So I'm taking Vitamins. I'm going out for little walks here and there. It's just not the same without the dog :-( And the big thing is, I'm beating my addiction. I'm not talking about cigarettes or coffee or sugar. I'm talking about heavy duty narcotic prescription drugs. That's right, I've been taking them daily for several years. Only a couple of people in my life were aware of this. Now everyone knows. I think taking those pills was the reason I basically stopped smoking weed. I used to be a chronic pot smoker. I'm not even sure if it's been a week or two weeks, but it hasn't been long. But I'm doing it. And it's hard. I still have severe cravings for it. I have to succeed. Please pray for me and wish me well. I'll probably go back to smoking pot. I think that's the lesser of two evils. Just being honest.

On Saturday we went up to S & Ds place. We hadn't seen them in a while. Mr. Man and S tore the engine out of the bike. I don't know what got into me, but I was rambling on about all the negative stuff that happened 15 and 20 years ago. So it wasn't one of our best visits there. It left me feeling very negative the next day too. At any rate Mr. Man is confident he will have the bike running by May 24. I'm really looking forward to that. It'll be nice to ride again. And to finally get to ride with S & D. I hope the weather this summer is better than last year.

I can't tell you how many people have told me I just need to get a job. If I ever feel healthy enough I just may do that. But I don't understand why everyone thinks that will solve all my problems. It won't. And I like being home. We'll see. Stranger things have happened.

Well it's a nice spring day, I'm going to walk over to the store. I'm trying to think positive and look forward to the future. Things will change. Happy spring.

It's Finally Over!

When I got up this morning the birds were chirping, a sure sign that spring is on the way. It's supposed to be really nice today and yesterday was nice also. I notice it's getting light earlier in the morning and staying light later too. The snow is melting away. I'm not fooling myself, I'm pretty sure we'll get one more blast of snow. Meanwhile it's been nice and sunny. I am looking forward to the summer and possibly moving.


Well the lawsuit trial is finally over. Two weeks of court was brutal. I can't say what happened in the end. I'm not at liberty to discuss it here. We are just so glad it's finally over and done with. We spent two weekends not going out to events because of the trial.


We really haven't done much in weeks. Hopefully we'll get out more with the nice weather we've been having. Mr. Man needs to get working on the bike so we can ride this year. We're going up to S & Ds next weekend. That's where the bike is.


So yeah, nothing much going on around here. Today I think we're going to go down and clean out the old car so we can send it to the wreckers. Pretty soon we'll be looking for a new place to live. It's not too bad here, but it's not what we really want. It was meant to be temporary. Our lease is up in May. This place is in a good location. We'll see what happens.

Little R is still out of school and unemployed. It's getting old. She sells minimal amounts of Avon. She has court next month and also another modelling gig. But if the court decides to lock her up she'll miss the modelling. She and her boyfriend are just here every day hanging around. They both need jobs. They both have no goals or ambition. But it can't go on like this much longer.

So I don't know. I'm looking forward to the future. I'm counting my blessings. And I really need to get out of the apartment. Until next time, have a great day.