Tis The Season, Officially

We went to see the Orangeville Santa Claus parade on Saturday. We've pretty much gone every year since we moved up here. Usually they do it in the afternoon. For whatever reason they had it in the evening this year. It wasn't as good as usual. It was shorter than usual. And it was hard to get decent pictures. I posted a few of the better turned out ones. We had a good time anyways. We were hoping to hook up with Little R but she didn't even look for us, she just stayed with her friends. I hope they go back to having it in the afternoon next year.

So it's official, tis the season. We got rid of all our outdoor Christmas lights when we moved. Someone is offering some on Freecycle, I hope I get them. I want to do the balcony. I've accepted that we can only have a fake tree. We'll only be able to use a fraction of our decorations. We're going to have to haul all those boxes up and pick out what we'll use and then haul all the boxes back down to the locker. What a pain.

Mr. Man talked to his brother and it would appear that he will be spending the holidays with us. Everyone should be with family at Christmas. I really want him here, I just hope it all turns out ok. We don't have the room for him to move in with us again lol. Oh well, I'm hoping for the best.

It's been a foggy, gray day. Some Christmas lights on the balcony would really brighten things up. Have a great day.

The Best Laid Plans, Seasonal Chaos

So much for making plans. Sigh...it never works out. The dinner at T's has been postponed. So we don't know when or if it will even happen now. This is how things started out a year ago when he came to live with us. Anyways, then I was talking to Cathy and we were talking about a Christmas get together. We decided to do it here. We picked a date. I started inviting people. Of course some people can't make it. Ugh. The season is barely on us, I haven't even started shopping yet, and I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out about having to have this apartment cleaned up in 2 days. They want to check our fuse box and lightbulbs. What the hell is that about? I've never had my lightbulbs checked before in my life and I've rented a lot of places. Sounds more like an excuse to get in and snoop around. I'll be glad when it's over with.

Christmas used to be so much fun. I don't know when it became such a stressful event. And it's not just Christmas, it's the whole month of December. Now it's even starting in November. Other than going to my nephew's on December 5th, I have no plans yet to see my family for Christmas. December is already booked up. When am I going to see them? I'm going to have to squeeze them in at some point.

Mr. Man went to hang something on a wall only to find the wall was cement. He used to have drills for all kinds of jobs, but his brother accidentally sold all his drills when we had our yard sale. So now we can't hang anything on that wall. And I'm wondering how many of the other walls are cement too. We're in a corner unit. We still have a ton of stuff to hang. I am overwhelmed at the amount of stuff I need to put away. I just don't know what to do with it all.

I think the next few weeks should be dedicated to unpacking, putting away, getting rid of, and hanging stuff. Mr. Man seems to weasel out of it every weekend. I've got stuff posted on Cheapcycle, it's been there for months, no one wants to buy it. Even though it's good stuff at great prices, no one wants it. I'd keep it if I had somewhere to put it. In a frenzy to get rid of stuff, I gave away things I shouldn't have. It's chaos I tell you.

Last night we drove all the way up to Shelburne to pick up 2 bookcases. I need 2 bookcases for all my books. Even though I got rid of something like 9 boxes of books when we moved, I now have about 6 boxes or more. So we get all the way up there and it turns out they're not really bookcases, they're cabinets. They're like a 2 piece wall unit type of thing. Totally useless to me. I was so disappointed. What a waste of gas. I had asked for them on Freecycle and this person responded. Meanwhile I have boxes of books taking up half my bedroom. At least I'm not keeping them now like I used to. There is a book exchange in the laundry room and I take them down there once I'm done reading them. But I'm always getting more books. I'm an avid reader, but lately I only read when I go to bed. Then I end up falling asleep, dropping the book on my face. I have one tall bookcase but we decided to use it for our movies. I've been asking on Freecycle for months with no luck. It may be time to just go to Walmart or wherever and buy bookcases.

This apartment is set up kind of weird. The layout is ok, but it doesn't accomodate the computer desk etc. It's a decent size for an apartment. We just have way too much stuff. And we have big stuff. We've already moved the computer once from where we originally put it and it looks like we'll be moving it again. We are also challenged with where to hang the dart board. We had the perfect set up back at the house. Mr. Man promises to get the board up soon. I haven't played darts since the spring.

I look forward to the spring because that is when our lease is up and I can start looking for something more suitable. Like a house. We've already lost so much of our possessions, I can't part with any more. We are just going to have to squeeze what we have left into this place for now. It really is overwhelming.

So now I have to make some sense of it in the next day or so. Then I have to start getting it ready for Christmas. It's a hell of a task. What was I thinking, inviting people here? But it's just the motivation I need to get on with it. It just seems silly to get all settled when I know we will be moving again next spring. I don't know. It's crazy.

I went for a little walk yesterday. It was a beautiful day. Very unseasonable for November. Normally we would have snow by now. I hope we at least have a white Christmas. I don't like green Christmases. We have had one or two of those since we moved up here from the city. More often than not we have snow. Now that we don't have to clear the driveway or anything, let it snow.

Well I woke up for whatever reason at 2:30 a.m. It's 5:30 now and Mr. Man is up. He wore Little R out yesterday so she isn't going with him today. I have a lot to do, so I should get at it. Have a great day.

And So It Starts

We decided not to go to Port Dover for Friday the 13th, then we changed our minds. Mr. Man was getting out of work early for his meeting, so why not. So we got all geared up to go. Then as we were on our way, we stopped for gas, and the conversation went something like this, do you really want to go? I don't know, don't you want to go? Well it's late, by the time we get there everyone will be gone. Yeah it is an awfully long drive just to go to a bar. Let's just stay here and go to a bar and play some pool. Good idea. So that's what we did. We called S & D to see what they were up to, we knew they weren't going to Dover, they happened to be in town already, so we met up, had dinner and went to a bar. We played some pool. There was no band, which sucked. The DJ was not cooperative at all. But we had a good time anyways.

Little R was staying with a friend for the weekend, thinking we were going to be away. That's the new thing, if we go out, she goes out, not leaving her here alone. Saturday we went out for breakfast. Friends of ours took over the little restaurant we like to go to. I haven't been there in a long time. It was good. Then we went grocery shopping. Then we hunkered down and watched all 3 Santa Clause movies.

Sunday we drove to the reserve. They've raised the prices on smokes so we can't get as many as we used to and have to go more often. It was a really grim, gray day. When we got back home, Little R was sitting out in the hall waiting for us. She had been there for 2 hours. I was just thankful she came home Sunday because she had to go to court on Monday. I was just so thankful to see her home.

Monday I woke up with a serious back ache. I didn't go to court with Little R. It got put off for another 2 weeks. She blew her chance with the Youth Justice Committee and now will be dealt with by the court. The other way she would have come out of it with no record. Now she's going to get a record.

My sister called and invited us to a pot luck get together at her sons place in December. I said we'd be there. The company Christmas party is all planned. And so it starts. Running around every weekend, trying to find time to shop, juggling get togethers. We want to go see a Christmas play too, the local theater is putting on A Christmas Story. Actually Mr. Man went there today after work to pick up tickets but it was closed. I'm going to walk down tomorrow to get them. We saw A Christmas Carol there last year and totally enjoyed it.

The local Santa Claus parade is next weekend, we'll be going to that. I hope to get lots of pictures. Living in town now, it's just a short walk. Everyone likes a parade.

We're going to T's for dinner this week. I don't know why it has to be in the middle of the week, something to do with him working on the weekend. We'll be discussing him coming to spend Christmas with us. I think he should.

I'm not feeling too good. This back ache, depression, menopause. I still miss the dog like crazy. I still cry just about every day. I miss him terribly, still.

The apartment is a mess. I don't feel up to dealing with it. Now the super wants to come in later this week to check lightbulbs or some such bullshit. So I'll be forced to clean it up. I have to clean it up anyways, but damn, I don't feel like it right now. Little R is going to work with Mr. Man this week to help him out. It's not going to be a good week. I hope I feel better tomorrow. Have a great day.

Just A Matter Of Time

Well things have been pretty uneventful. I learned today that Little R would take the last pack of smokes and leave me with none. How nice. It's reached the point of get a job or get out. Things are not going well in that area of our life. Last week she disappeared for 3 days. She does absolutely nothing around here to contribute. She steals from us endlessly. I'm at the end of my rope with her.


I pretty much haven't left the apartment since last weekend. We've had some really nice days, and I just don't go out. If someone was going with me, I might be more inclined to go out. But to just go out for a walk by myself, not happening.


I'm so upset with Little R. And I'm still upset about Bear. We had to drive by our old house the other day and that depressed me. I'm in the throes of kicking my addiction, again. That is no walk in the park. It's been about a week so far this time. It is very difficult. I'm determined to stick to it this time though.


The apartment is a mess again. It's all up to me to clean it up. Some days it's just overwhelming. I don't want it to be like this either. But when you are trapped in it, surrounded by it day in and day out, eventually you just don't see it. I do a little each day, but it makes no difference. I need to do more each day. Honestly I'm just so unhappy, I don't give a shit about anything.


Once the dog was gone, the urgency to find a house was gone. It doesn't matter now. But I'm still faced with trying to fit all this stuff into this small space. Sitting out on a 6th floor balcony is nothing like walking out to your own backyard. I really do still want another house. I must have a dishwasher. I really miss my brand new appliances. Simply put, this is not how my life is supposed to be. And I feel like I have very little control over the whole thing.


Money seems to disintigrate as soon as we get it. I haven't even started Christmas shopping. And where the hell are we supposed to put a Christmas tree in this place? It's bad enough we aren't allowed to have a real tree, but we don't even have the room for a little fake one. We could make room if all the boxes were unpacked, but that is at a standstill.

The weather has been pretty good. It's been pretty mild. It gets chilly some days, but generally I think it's above normal for this time of year. Usually we have snow by now. One day it was snowing but then the sun would come out, then it would get all dark again and blizzard for a while, then the sun would come back out. It went like that all day.

I'm not in a good place right now. I'm depressed. I want to feel better but don't know what to do to accomplish that. I'm sitting around in my jammies all day, watching tv and playing on the computer. I don't even have the motivation to get dressed and go for a walk. I'm ignoring the housework and the unpacking. I'm trying to beat my addiction. That is taking my all. I just don't feel right. It makes me feel sick sometimes. It is out of my system now, but it isn't out of my mind. I still miss the dog every day. I miss having sit down dinners with my family. (The diningroom table is covered in stuff I'm unpacking, and the dishes are really piling up).

Mr. Man works so hard. He deserves a nice cooked dinner when he gets home. I rarely cook any more. Lately he thinks being mean to me will push me into action. It's backfiring. It just makes me more depressed.

I honestly don't know what it will take. Maybe just time. Maybe when I get over losing Bear. Maybe when I get over my addiction. Maybe when Little R gets a job and starts helping out. I just don't know.

Tomorrow is Friday the 13th, Port Dover. I was really hoping to go. Mr. Man has a meeting tomorrow so we can't go. I'm thinking maybe after his meeting we could go for a couple of hours. I'll have to ask him about that tonight. We always have such a good time there. We always run into people we haven't seen in a long time. It's fun, a good night out for us.

Well, not much else to say. Things are the same old same old. Life is just not going our way right now. But things will get better. It's just a matter of time.
Have a great day.

Halloween

Well yesterday was Halloween. We made the 2 hour drive and went to the party. We did dress up, sort of. My costume consisted of a cape and a wig and a little shading under my eyes. Mr. Man got a mask. The party was great. Lots of people, lots of booze, lots of food, some really cool costumes. I took several pictures. We drank too much and had a good time. We stayed over and we got home around 2 this afternoon. Pretty hungover today. So here's a picture of me and Mr. Man. I'm not going to post a bunch of pictures because it's just such a pain to do.