Merry Christmas!

Greetings.

I checked the weather warning yesterday and it was a wind warning. It was windy but I don't think it warranted a warning. It started snowing last night and looks like it continued through the night. Mr. Man has to go to work today, only for half a day. It's garbage day. I had every intention of putting the trash out yesterday and then totally forgot about it. Since I didn't put it out the past two weeks in a row, I have to get it out there today. How much you want to bet he goes by extra early today, just to get his work day over with early? Nothing is less appealing to me than getting dressed and going outside in the cold, to haul garbage to the curb, before 7 am.

I just found out last night that my Aunt died on the 20th. A year ago January, her husband, my Uncle, my fathers brother, also died. I wasn't close to my Aunt at all. In fact I don't remember the last time I saw her. But I did always send her a Christmas card. My brother sent me an email letting me know she died. I don't know anything about the funeral or what she died of. I didn't go to my Uncles funeral, I probably won't go to this one either. But last January we didn't go because we were snowed in, the roads were closed. I do remember the last time I saw my Uncle, he came to my house with my father for a visit. I didn't want to miss his funeral. It just wouldn't be Christmas without a death in the family.

Here it is, Christmas Eve, and I don't feel a thing. I feel nauseous. I feel depressed. I've not been feeling well at all the last couple of days. I keep thinking it's PMS, but then nothing happens. Nothing happened last month either. But it sure doesn't feel like Christmas. Never before in my life have I been this not into it. It's making me sad. Oddly, Mr. Man was full of Christmas spirit, I think I'm sucking that out of him though. He used to be the one who wasn't into it. He thought Christmas was for kids. I turned him around. Only to pull this on him now. Even Little R isn't excited. At this point about all I can do is hope for next year. And that's what I'm going to do. I hope next year I will feel the spirit, the excitement, the anticipation, the love, the joy. I will make a point of cleaning my house in anticipation of guests. I will make a point of inviting guests to my home. If my brother doesn't put on another dinner, I will. I will try to convince Big R to come home for the holidays. I can do it. I don't ever want it to be like this again.

I have a couple of photos of the boys in their Christmas hats. These pictures show their very different personalities. Merry Christmas!

Not Another Weather Warning, Sigh

We went to my brothers for Christmas dinner. I'm so glad we went. It was very nice to see the family. It was a traditional turkey dinner after all. We had gone to town and it was such a zoo, what should have taken 10 minutes took an hour. So that set us behind schedule, we arrived later than we were supposed to. I forgot my camera, but by the time I realized it, there was no turning back. My brother is quite the little photographer, he took some pictures. And before I knew it he was handing me a CD he burned. I just thought that was the sweetest thing.

He was showing me his iPod, one thing I don't have, and I told him I don't have one, he misunderstood and thought I said I didn't have a digital camera, so he tried to give me one! Like I said he's into photography so I guess he upgrades his cameras and he had an old one laying around. Again I thought that was just so sweet of him.

My brother lives in a condo on the 15th floor. It was quite the todo every time Mr. Man and I wanted to go out for a smoke. We had to put on our coats and boots and travel down in the elevator. I felt guilty every time we went, but what can I say, we're addicts.

As my brother was showing me stuff on his computer, and I am just so glad someone in the family has a computer, what did I do? I punched in the address for this here blog. So now my brother has access to my ramblings. He didn't seem very enthusiastic, I don't think he's into reading. But if you do happen to read this brother, thank you again for having us, we needed a family Christmas dinner, it's been too long.

When I opened the pictures, they were huge, so once again I had to resize them in order to post them here. Hopefully it worked and they are an uploadable size.


First we have my most handsome husband, Mr. Man...





Then, my most beautiful daughter, Little R...






Now here's where it gets tricky. The rest of the pictures aren't as small because it messed them up, so hopefully this will work. Here is me, my father, my sister and my brother...






Yay! Next is my brother and his wife...

And finally we have my brothers step-daughter and her boyfriend. These are amazing people. They are blind and it just never ceases to amaze me how well they function and adapt.

Sadly, as nice as it was to see the family again, and to enjoy a lovely dinner, I still don't have the Christmas spirit. I have a feeling it just isn't going to happen for me this year. I think maybe I'm trying too hard. I want it so badly, no matter what, it eludes me.

We arrived home around 10 pm and decided to play some darts. SW had invited us out to the bar after but it was too much of a drive so we just stayed home. Mr. Man kicked my butt, then so did Little R. I didn't win a single game.

Today we are just hanging out together at home, and later in the day we're going over to SWs for a little visit. I see there's a weather warning in effect, but I didn't read it to see what it's about. They were calling for rain, maybe it's changed to snow, ugh. I'm gonna go read that now. Have a great day.

Christmas In Childhood

Christmas as a kid. It was quiet and subdued since it was just me and my parents. I think I always got something I wanted. By todays standards I don't think I got a whole lot of stuff. My father always made me eat breakfast, even before I could check out my stocking. Sometimes that felt like torture.

Later my older siblings and all their children would come over for dinner. It was no longer quiet and subdued. That was the time I loved best. There was lots of family, lots of laughter and that's what stands out in my memory about Christmas as a child.

I think even then I appreciated having so much family around. Having them around was the best part of Christmas. We always went out Christmas Eve. I think most times we went to my Uncles, but sometimes we went to one of my siblings. Regardless, it was being around family that mattered.

One time that stands out in my memory, I must have been very young. I had snuck out of bed at some point and found a white plastic doll cradle under the tree. I must have touched it, even played with it a bit. It wasn't wrapped and I don't remember there being a doll in it, though I think there must have been. Well come Christmas morning, I was so overwrought with guilt, I busted into tears. And then I was amazed that my parents weren't mad at me after I told them why I was crying. Though I don't think I was able to form the idea that it was guilt I was feeling. They just laughed at me, told me it was ok and everything was alright again.

My mother was a Royal buff so we always had to watch the Queens message on tv on Christmas morning. I haven't seen that in years. After the gift opening then it was on to stuffing the turkey. All day long the house would smell of cooking turkey. To this day I absolutely love that smell. The day was spent playing with new toys and preparing for the big family dinner. Mother always used her good china and real silverware. Then the family would all show up. The house came to life. It got loud. It got crowded. I was in heaven.

Now there are no more family dinners. This dinner at my brothers is the closest we're going to get. It sure does feel like its all about the gifts, getting the right things, how much money is being spent, hoping the dogs don't tear anything open or pee on anything, second thoughts about what I bought. I jokingly told Mr. Man and Little R that we were having tacos for Christmas dinner and they took it to heart and now have their hearts set on it. I just found out Mr. Man will be receiving a turkey from work. I'd much prefer smelling that cooking all day than throwing together tacos.

I seem to go from year to year changing my mind. One year I want tradition, the next year I want to do something different. This was a do something different year. But I'm finding I love tradition. So many people in my and in Mr. Mans families have died, a couple of them on Christmas, that even when we do get together, it's just not the same. There are no little kids. Little R is my fathers youngest grandchild. All my nieces and nephews have grown children and grandchildren of their own. Most have moved away anyways. I find myself floundering and fumbling. Looking for a place to belong. Things will never be like they were in childhood. In recent years I looked forward to Big R coming here for Christmas. This year that isn't going to happen. It took a while, but I got used to the idea. But I must admit, it sucked the life right out of Christmas for me this year. We're half assed going through the motions. My heart isn't in it. I think this year will be very quiet and subdued.

It's been said before, but it's oh so true. It's not about what's under the tree. It's about family and love and what surrounds you all through the year.

Elfin Entertainment

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1601469073

Go to that ^^^ link for some elfin entertainment.

Yesterday I went down to the city with SW, Christmas shopping. I'm done now. I could have been done without the things I bought yesterday, but there was too many good deals to pass up. We had a good day.

This morning I got up and noticed a gift bag under the tree was knocked over. On closer inspection I found that the boys had opened a gift. It was a bag of "Snausages", there was one for each of them. It was neatly unwrapped and the bag torn open and all the snausages were gone. I'm assuming it was Bear and just wonder if he shared, I doubt it. I should have known better than to put food gifts under the tree so early. The pig ears won't be there until Christmas Eve. I'm just happy they didn't get excited and start opening everything. I guess Bear just couldn't contain himself. I don't know if he did it during the night or yesterday while I was out. I didn't notice anything amiss yesterday. I know he's been itching to open something.

I finally dug out the back door. Just made it easier for the boys to take off on me. It was raining yesterday and they're calling for rain this weekend. That should get rid of some of the snow.

The plan for today is wrapping all the stuff I scored yesterday and cleaning. Boy do I have a ton of cleaning to do. I've been avoiding it long enough. It's time. I don't think Santa will come to a dirty house. At least that's what I've told myself every other year. Have a great day.

Still Snowed In

I never did go out and shovel yesterday. I just couldn't make myself do it. It was so cold out. It was much nicer inside by the fire. Poor old Mr. Man did the shoveling after dinner. The thing is, it had to be done if we want propane delivered. You have to clear a path for them to get to the tank or they won't deliver. Mr. Man put in the order on Monday so they should come today or tomorrow. Hopefully it won't snow again before they come.

I didn't put the garbage out for the second week in a row. It's buried by the back door and I still can't get out the back door. I may tackle that today. I think it's safe to say we'll be having a white Christmas. Four years ago that would have thrilled me. The thought of being snowed in would have been romantic and cozy. Now, this being our fifth winter here, it's not so romantic or cozy, it's a pain. The novelty has worn off. I feel trapped and isolated. A big part of that is from not having a car too. I agreed to live here as long as I always have a car. Mr. Man is really dragging his feet with getting that truck on the road so I can have my car back. I understand that he can't be out there working on it in a raging blizzard, and there has been some level of snow just about every day. He should have left it in SW's garage until he was finished with it is all I can say. Now he's having problems getting the snowblower going too. That would have come in quite handy this week. He figures he just needs some "quick start", whatever that is, to get it going. He has some, but it was left out in the garage and is frozen. I think he's picking some up today. Just clearing away the snow would go a long way towards making me feel a little better, not so trapped. When you look out the windows and all you see is snow drifts, it's daunting.

I'm so looking forward to going to my brothers on Saturday. I found out my sister and father will also be there. That's who I really wanted to see, so I'm happy about that. It also means I can give them their gifts without making an extra trip down there. I just hope he has a traditional turkey dinner and doesn't try pulling something funky on us like baked fish or something.

That reminds me, I made chicken for dinner last night and I thought it was time I tried eating some meat, so I had some. I was able to eat it without too much discomfort yay. And I can eat potato chips, whew, that's like my favourite food. It is getting a little easier to eat. Guess I'm getting used to it. It's still a little awkward, but getting easier.

Since the back door is blocked by snow and the tethers are buried, I've been letting the dogs out the front door. For the most part they stay in the yard and just do their business and come right back in. But they have taken off a few times. Luckily they haven't been gone long. I think today I will get out there and clear the back door and unbury the tethers. Have a great day.

Christmas Quiz

This has been going around so I thought I would do it too.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both
2. Real tree or artificial? Both
3. When do you put up the tree? Whenever we feel like it, usually beginning of December
4. When do you take the tree down? After New Years
5. Do you like eggnog? No, but I don't think I've ever really tried it
6. Favorite gift received as a child? A wooden toboggen
7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes
8. Hardest person to buy for? My 92 year old father
9. Easiest person to buy for? My 14 year old daughter
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A cheap plastic clock that all the numbers eventually fell off of
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Snail mail
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Usually around August
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yup, last year for the first time
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Everything
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Usually coloured, this year clear
17. Favorite Christmas song? I like them all
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Usually stay home
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Yes
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Both, angel on one tree, star on the other
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Open one Christmas Eve and the rest Christmas morning
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Crowds when shopping
23. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme? Not usually, but this year we did the colour theme

So there it is. Lame, I know.

Shoveling Out

It was another long week. Time sure seems to drag during the week, then the weekends just fly by. I had got myself all upset that no one in my family was inviting us down for a Christmas get together. I rarely see my family any more and Christmas just isn't the same without seeing them. Having them up here is out of the question. So one day I had a bit of a meltdown about it. The very next day I got an email from my only brother inviting us down for a Christmas dinner on the 22nd. I happily accepted his invitation. I feel a little better now. I don't even know who is going to be there or not, but at least I'll see some of my family.

One day last week, my friend D who lives in town, drove all the way out here to pick me up and take me into town to do some shopping. I thought that was very kind and generous of her. That's a lot of driving. So I was able to get most of my shopping for Mr. Man done. He's going to somewhat burn this year, but oh well, it can't be great every year. I'm just not into it this year and it doesn't look like anything is going to change that fact.

We had quite the snowstorm last night and all day today. We're pretty much snowed in. They even got it down in the city. I went to let the dogs out and the back door was completely blocked by a huge snow drift. Mr. Man had gone out this afternoon to shovel a path from the front door, so I let them out front. They didn't wander, they wanted right back in. Later in the evening I let them out again and this time they took off. They were back in a few minutes covered in snow. Eddie has discovered the joy of laying on the warm hearth in front of the fire. I took pictures, but alas, they're all blurry.

Friday night we went to D & S's place for dinner. We had lasagna and it was delicious. I was so happy to be able to eat it. I had another adjustment done on the dentures Thursday morning. They still bug the hell out of me. I really can't imagine ever being used to these things.

We finally decorated the real tree one night this week. Apparently we don't have as many blue ornaments as I thought we did. It looks a little bare. I don't think we'll be doing the colour theme again any time soon. Now that it's done I think what it needs is some pink too. Oh well, here's a picture...



Yes that is snow piled up in the window. The window is just above ground and the snow seems to blow into a drift there every year.

We're going to have a lot of shoveling to do tomorrow. Mr. Man left the snowblower outside so now it's frozen and covered in ice. Hopefully he will be able to get it going at some point. There is just too much snow out there. I don't know what he plans to do in the morning as far as going to work. I think he plans to just shovel out behind the car, leaving the rest for me to do. Ha, not likely.

The Weekend, No More Drinking For Me

Good morning. I didn't get enough sleep last night, but it's ok, I can catch up today at some point. Yes I stayed up to watch the Hallmark movies from 9 pm to 1 am. Then I was chatting with SW on messenger til 2. Due to going out to a bar on Saturday night, Sunday was a very lazy day. We had bought Little R the movie The Santa Clause 3, it was already wrapped and under the tree, but we decided we wanted to watch it, so we had her open it and we watched it. She wouldn't watch it with us, she was watching something else on tv upstairs.

With the way I felt on Sunday I don't think I want to do much drinking in the future. I'm too old for this. I spend my life sitting on my ass and one night out, of drinking, playing pool and dancing and I feel crippled the next day. I had a hangover and my body just ached. And the day was spent doing absolutely nothing.

So Saturday afternoon we went to town to do a little more shopping and to get our real tree. We got gifts for the dogs. It took us all of 6 seconds to pick out a tree. It's huge, they never look that big until you get them in the house. So as we're setting it up, Mr. Man says "fetch me my hammer please". We've had the same cast iron tree stand for years. Never before has it required a hammer. I don't know what he was thinking. He gets his hammer and starts whacking the stand onto the bottom of the tree. I'm freaking out. NO, why are you doing that? You've never done that before. You don't need to do that. You're going to crack it. We get the tree stood up and it's time to add the water. I'm pouring the water into the stand and it's pouring out just as fast. Well shit! See? You cracked it! Well technically, he didn't crack it, he put a hole in it. The spike broke off and left a gaping hole right in the middle of the bottom of the stand. Unreal. So he rushes off to town to get another stand. I must say I don't like the one he got, but he said there wasn't much to choose from. I like my old stand thankyouverymuch. As he was gone, I was worried that the tree would seal itself and he'd need to recut it. Of course he didn't recut it and of course it's not drinking very much. So it should be nicely brown and dead by Christmas, sigh. Here it is Monday and we haven't touched the tree. No decorations. Just a tree. I need Mr. Man to put the lights on since I can't reach. All day Sunday he had excuses not to put the lights on. So who knows when we'll get around to decorating it.

As you already know, Saturday night we went out to a bar. We've never been in this bar before, however we have partied on the patio there when they've had Show & Shines. It was a very large place, with lots of pool tables and a band. It got very crowded towards the end of the evening. We had a good time. We were with a couple of friends and some friends of theirs. D and I spent the majority of the evening hanging out on the dance floor and harassing the band. At one point the singer took my camera and took pictures of us lol. Most of the photos taken can not be posted here, but I will post a couple.

Here is Mr. Man and S playing pool...

This is D and I on the dance floor, apparently I was "dipping" her lol...

This is D and S...

And this is me and S...

It's Been A Long Week

Man this seemed like a long week. It snowed almost every day this week. Even when it's not really snowing there is light flurries swirling around. Since the snowblower needs a new petcock (I don't know what that is) it hasn't been working, so our driveway hasn't really been cleared. It's an icy mess. I think it was last Sunday, it was pouring rain but it was freezing as soon as it hit the ground. So all the snow, all two feet of it, is coated in ice. I went out one day to check the level on the propane tank, which was frozen shut, and I wiped out when my foot didn't sink into the snow, I just slid on the ice. Attempting to clear the driveway is on our list of things to do today.

We've been lucky that Eddie hasn't bothered with the Christmas tree. This is our first Christmas with him here and we didn't know what to expect. Thought for sure he would be peeing all over it, but so far, I don't think he has. There's even a few gifts under the tree and he hasn't touched them. Today we are going to get the real tree for down in the familyroom. Hopefully he won't bother with it either. We're debating buying gifts for the dogs. Normally we spoil Bear at Christmas and I swear he's just like a little kid, he knows what's going on, somewhat. He's already tried to snag a couple of gifts, he knows there's goodies in them. But Mr. Man thinks they will just fight over everything. His solution is to not get them anything. I'm sorry, I can't do that. Eddie might not know the difference, but Bear will and he'll feel left out. So today I plan on getting them some gifts.

I'm pretty much done my shopping, yay me. My friend Jade picked me up and drove me to town the other day. I got a lot of shopping done then. That was so nice of her since she lives in town, so quite a bit of driving back and forth for her. All that's left is the dogs and little things here and there. It's going to be tricky getting the tree home today without a truck. Another to do for today, get the truck on the road for once and for all. Don't know if it's reasonable to expect that, but it would be nice.

Tonight we are going out to shoot some pool and have some drinks. The bar we were originally planning to go to burnt down this week so we had to pick another bar to go to. Well it didn't actually burn down, but it did have a fire and won't be open. I'm looking forward to getting out tonight.

I've been staying up til 1 am every night watching sappy Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel, trying to get the Christmas spirit. It isn't working. Every night this month, starting at 9, they show 2 movies back to back. They're all of the "made for tv" variety. I'm thinking Christmas spirit cannot be forced. Either you feel it or you don't. Sadly I don't. But I still have hope that it will come.

So that's it, it's been a long, boring week. I'm glad the weekend is finally here. Hopefully we'll get some stuff accomplished today. Have a great day.

The Company Christmas Dinner

The company dinner thing went well. There were 2 limos, the northern route (that's us), and the southern route, all meeting up at the restaurant downtown. Mr. Man and I were all dressed and ready to go, just bickering over which bottle to bring. I wanted to bring sambuca and he wanted to bring buttershots. The limo was a few minutes early picking us up so without agreeing we just brought no bottle. Besides we weren't sure if we were allowed to bring any booze and if we could leave it in the car or what. We were happy to find out there was a cooler full of booze in the trunk of the car.

The northern car was supposed to have 4 couples and the southern car was supposed to have 3 couples. At the last minute someone in the southern car cancelled. So one of the bosses in our car decided to invite a couple of friends rather than waste the tickets. So now we had 2 couples in the southern car and 5 couples in the northern car. It was very cramped in our car. Throw in the cooler of booze and it was ridiculous. We were sitting on top of each other. Though I should say our driver, Tony, was great.

We all got to the restaurant and were on a bit of a time limit in order to make it to the show on time. So ordering was a little rushed. Our waiter, Steve, was awesome. He just kept the drinks coming without us having to ask. We did have a limited menu to order from so I ordered the chicken with couscous. But I asked if I could have mashed potatoes instead of couscous just to be sure I could eat something. Sure enough, I got mashed potatoes, I was very happy about that. Dinner was good.

Then it was off to The Second City show. The theater was right next to the restaurant. So after a quick smoke break we went in and found our seats. Again it was very cramped. The show was called "Facebook of Revelations". I enjoyed it though it wasn't as good as I had expected it to be. They didn't even take our drink orders until after the show had started and we were only served one drink throughout the show. That sucked.

Then it was back outside in the bitter cold to have a smoke while we waited for the limos to pick us up. It wasn't a long wait. It was starting to flurry, so we were teasing our driver Tony, you know if it's flurrying in downtown Toronto then it's a blizzard at our house. We were right. We got home around midnight, which made it kind of an early night. The driver did well driving in those conditions. There was quite the storm happening once we reached our neck of the woods.

So I don't know, it was fun and all, but it was kind of disappointing too. The bosses were discussing what to do next year. I have a feeling we'll be going bar hopping in limos lol.

Sunday was spent just laying around feeling like the day after. The weather has been terrible. It's been snowing every day for a good week. Last night it started freezing rain. Everything is ice. It's amazing the power never went out. Of course the school buses are cancelled this morning so there's no school today. It's snowing and blowing and very cold.

We took some pictures but not many are very good. I'll post the ones of me and Mr. Man.