Weekend Visits

We spent Saturday rummaging through all the thrift stores. We found one yard sale. And we had to go to the dollar store because I broke my sunglasses and needed new ones. I always buy them 2 at a time at the dollar store. Then it just doesn't matter when I lose or break them, they are easily replaced. I was on the hunt for cats, for a birthday gift. I did find a few. I didn't even know my friend actually already collected cats, I thought I was starting a collection for her. But it turns out she has quite the collection, so I just added to it. It rained off and on all day so I knew we wouldn't find many yard sales.


Sunday was chilly. We headed down to the city to deliver the birthday present and visit. We stopped in to see my father too. He was chipper as usual. When I hugged him he seemed so frail. I saw all my nephews, for once they were all home. And my great niece was there too. Of course I didn't bring my camera. We stayed at my friends for dinner. We had a lovely barbecue and a lovely visit. I didn't feel the usual anxiety of going down to the city. It didn't bother me at all this time. Strange. I did feel like a hick though. It seems I can wear certain clothes around here and think nothing of it, but get me in the city dressed like that and I feel like a bumpkin.

Life is still hell. It appears it will continue to be hell for at least another month. I don't know if I can stand it. I'm so depressed by all this I hardly spoke while we were out visiting. I wonder if anyone noticed how quiet I was.

When I woke up Monday it was snowing. It's been cold ever since. I knew spring wasn't here to stay. It's supposed to warm up again later in the week. I hope it doesn't hurt any of my flowers. I see another day snuggled in bed sleeping ahead of me. It passes the time. It makes my dismal days shorter. Oh I can't wait til this hell is over with. A month seems like an eternity.

Show And Tell # 7

It's Show and Tell Friday again. Please go to Kelli's blog, There Is No Place Like Home, to see all the other participants or to join in the fun yourself.

This just happens to be my 500th post! That's amazing. I can't believe it. It doesn't feel like I've done this 500 times.

This week I'm going to show my spring flowers. Let's take a look at what's blooming in my gardens.

First, my Hyacinths. These were given to me in a pot for Easter a couple of years ago. There were three when I planted them, now there are four. They smell heavenly.

Next is my Forsythia. It's looking a little scraggly, it needs to be pruned. It was here and already overgrown when we moved here. I just noticed yesterday that it was blooming.

I believe these are Jonquils. I bought them a couple of years ago and don't quite remember. I have several clumps of them around the yard.

This little thing I only bought last year. I remember buying it, I remember planting it, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. It's pretty whatever it is.

Of course there's daffodils. I've had these for a few years. I didn't buy enough of them, so there's only one here and there. They would look much better in clumps.

These daffodils were a surprise. I had moved them when we redid our front deck. I didn't know what they were. Every year they came up but didn't bloom. It took them four years to finally bloom and show me what they are.

That's about all that is in bloom. Of course the tulips have buds and it won't be long before they are blooming. We've been having lovely weather and everything is coming up and sprouting. There are always surprises in the garden. I love spring. A couple of weeks ago when we were still buried under snow, I thought it would never come. Hope you enjoyed my show and tell. Have a great day and a wonderful weekend.

Garden Surprises

There was a couple of garden surprises today. The weather has been great. I could stand it to be a little warmer but that's just me. Little R seems to have turned a new leaf, she wants to be a good girl now. She's going to her classes and doing well. She's coming straight home from school. She's a different person. The old Little R is back.

Well the first thing I saw when I walked outside today was my hyacinths in bloom. They smell heavenly. They have multiplied too. Insert picture here. It seems Blogger isn't going to let me add pictures. I'll add them later when the bug is fixed, sigh.

Then there is the first daffodil to bloom. It looks kind of silly all by itself. At first I thought it was just a piece of garbage blown into my garden, but upon further inspection I found the first daffodil to bloom.

Then there is this purple flower. I remember buying it, I remember planting it, I remember what I planted beside it, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. But it's in bloom. And I have pictures. If it didn't bloom I would have forgotten all about it, poor thing. Beside it I planted Periwinkle. I have no idea how Periwinkle grows. It seems kind of viney. The purple thing is very short and it's a round ball of tiny flowers. I wonder if I kept the tag from it. I usually do keep the tags.

The gardens and yard are a mess. I just can't bring myself to get out there cleaning it up. Much like the inside of the house. I find it hard to leave the house at all most days. I pass my days by sleeping as much as possible. I'm reading a Catherine Cookson book and not really into it. I have another appointment with the therapist this week. I look forward to that because I'm thinking she can help me. I really don't want to be depressed. It's not a choice. It sure is hard, well impossible, to feel like things are looking up. To me things are looking grim.

I'm glad it's finally spring. I'm glad Little R is trying to be good. But what else is going on just overshadows all. And as you can see Blogger finally let me upload pictures. So if anyone knows what that purple thing is please let me know. I'm off to be depressed and await the highlight of my day, going to Timmys for coffee with Mr. Man.

The Weekend

I guess I wasn't looking in the right places. I didn't see any daffodils and then yesterday I looked and saw some just about ready to bloom. We had some really nice weather this weekend. Honestly I don't know how close to blooming they are, but you can see the bloom buds on them.

We went to the party on Saturday. I found clean clothes to wear, the jeans I wanted and everything. It is such a long drive. Didn't take any pictures. We were planning to stay overnight and then decided to come home the same night. It was around 3 a.m when we got home. There was supposed to be a band but there was no band. That sucked. I think there was a fire ban in effect so we had to keep the bonfire small. That sucked. There was a lot of people there when we first got there but by the time we left it had dwindled down. It's been so long since I've really partied I got a bit of a buzz on early on and had to sober up. I drank water and had something to eat before I started drinking again. And then Mr. Man said lets go home.

We spent Sunday just lounging around enjoying the nice weather. It was beautiful. There's still the odd pile of snow laying around, but none in my yard. I really should have spent some time cleaning up the yard. But that can wait for even nicer weather. I'm so depressed I'm just not into it. With all that's going on I can't see pulling out of this depression any time soon. I wish I could explain what's going on. It would depress anyone. But to add it to an exisiting depression is just too much.

So that was my weekend. How was yours?

The First Yard Sale

We continue to have serious problems with Little R. She has become a different person. I just don't know how to deal with her any more. I don't know what's happened to her. Our life continues to be hell. And Little R and her antics are not helping. Each day she is a different person. Oh I remember being 14, it's a terrible age. But Little R has gone above and beyond being a brat.

We are supposed to go to an out of town party tonight. I can't decide if I want to go or not. I have a ton of laundry to do and I need a haircut. It looks like Mr. Man is going with or without me. If it wasn't so far away it wouldn't be an issue. I don't want to leave Little R overnight. Why do I always leave things to the last minute? I don't know, but it's true, I do. I can't even find the clothes I would want to wear. Being a biker bash I need certain clothes. I don't know where any of it is. This house is in such chaos. I have a feeling I'd have to do two tons of laundry to find my clothes. And my hair! My gawd, there's no way I could go to a party with this hair. I need it cut badly but am terrified to go back to any of the chain places to have it cut. I need bangs, I have no bangs, just a big forehead. They really did a number on it when I went to have it cut to donate. I'm sure it can be fixed by the right person. But could I find the right person today? I can try I suppose.

There is one pair of jeans I want to wear. I wore them the last time I went out to a bar with SW. There is just no telling where those jeans are right now. I have piles of clothes in the bedroom. Some dirty laundry, some that I received from Freecycle and haven't put away yet and piles of clean laundry to put away. Then there's tons of dirty laundry in the basement waiting to be cleaned. I don't even know where to begin looking for this pair of jeans. I am so unorganized, it drives me crazy. Any other party and I could wear any other clothes. I've known about it for weeks. So why do I wait til the day of before I start worrying about my hair and what to wear?

Well nice surprise! As I started putting away the clean clothes, I found the jeans I want. Now it seems I'll be getting my hair cut on the way there. That I don't like. I'd like to be able to come home and fool around with it first.

Mr. Man just took me out for a coffee and we stopped at a yard sale. The first one of the season. I got an original Nintendo system, all I wanted was the controllers, for $10, a little steep, but some of my favourite games are the originals. We have 2 systems already but no controllers that work. Yippee! I also got a platter and serving bowl that match my Christmas dishes, for a buck. Then I saw a pair of brand new sandals and I tried them on and she said I could have them for free. Gotta love that. I love yard sales!

Well I better get going. I have plenty to do to prepare for this party tonight. Have a great day and a wonderful weekend.

Show And Tell # 6

It's Show and Tell Friday again. Please go to Kelli's blog There Is No Place Like Home to see all the participants or to join in the fun yourself.

I decided I wanted to start collecting pigs, so I had started looking with not much luck. Then last Sunday Mr. Man and I found a new junk store, which happened to be open on Sunday, and also happened to have many pigs for sale. I bought 6, a good start to a collection. So here it is, my new pig collection...












Aren't they cute? Thank you for stopping by. Have a great day and a wonderful weekend.

The Nightmare Continues

The nightmare continues. I can't discuss it, but it is a nightmare. Little R continues to be a troubled teen. All of a sudden our life is a real mess. Nothing is as it should be. None of this is helping my depression, if anything it's worse now. I look forward to my next therapy session. I'm afraid for Mr. Man. He's smoking way too many cigarettes and he's not sleeping well, getting up at 3 a.m. I'm afraid he's going to give himself a heart attack or something. This nightmare is tearing our family apart.

On the bright side, spring is here. All the snow is gone though we did get a light dusting one night recently, it melted in the morning. My crocuses are blooming. My hyacinths are coming up and they seem to have multiplied. Tulips are coming up also multiplied. One thing I don't see coming up is daffodils. I don't have very many of those but I don't see them coming up anywhere. The yard is a mess but it hasn't been quite nice enough to get out there cleaning it up. The sun is nice but there's still a cold wind.

I couldn't come up with anything to do for Show and Tell on Friday. I just wasn't into it and couldn't think of anything. However I already have something for this Friday. I started my new pig collection on the weekend. We found a new junk store and they just happened to have a whole lot of pigs for sale. I bought 6. A good start to a new collection. I also bought 3 books and Mr. Man bought some cassette tapes. We listened to them in the car. I picked up a box of books from Freecycle. Half of them I don't want. A friend of mine likes Catherine Cookson and told me I might like her too. So when I saw a box of books including some Catherine Cookson on Freecycle I got them. I've started reading one and am enjoying it. My friend collects them so she can have them when I'm done with them.

So here's pictures, my crocuses...





Hyacinths



Tulips

At times I thought I'd never see these sprouts. It was a long winter. Due to my depression and the ongoing nightmare I don't feel the same joy that I would normally feel at the arrival of spring. I feel pretty sad these days. And there is nothing we can do about it. It's out of our hands. Our hands are tied. Thinking positive doesn't seem to be an option for me at this point. Things are not looking good. All I can hope for is an end to this nightmare I'm living in.

Have a good day.

I'm Exhausted

It's raining this morning. It's supposed to rain all day. I guess it's better than snow. I noticed yesterday that I have crocuses blooming. No pictures yet. Yesterday was a lovely day, windy but mild. Should have taken pictures then while I had the chance. As usual I spent most of the day sleeping. It amazes me how much I can sleep, all day and all night. Of course I was up at 4:30 this morning.

Still living in hell. I can't wait for this nightmare to be over. Again I wish I could share it with the world but I can't. Suffice it to say I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone.

Little R was up to her stunts again the other day. She didn't come home from school until 9:30 p.m. That gave me 6 hours to worry and stress over it. I did call the police at 8:30 but it took them an hour to get their shit together. Because we live in a rural location they couldn't make up their minds who should take the call. By the time they figured it out and were sending an officer out she came strolling in like nothing happened. She continues to skip school and the school continues to do nothing about it. I am aging rapidly. I slept in the next day because I was so exhausted and so she missed school that day too. One of the kids on the street told me I look tired the other day, lol. Ya think?

My first meeting with my therapist went well. I think we'll get along. The meeting consisted mostly of her taking my history. According to her this Borderline Personality Disorder is serious and to be taken seriously. Fortunately the medication I was put on does work somewhat. I don't fly into rages any more, I'm much calmer. I don't have irrational anger. It keeps me on an even keel. Now if I could just not be depressed. I'm calmer but I'm not functioning. And now with this latest nightmare, I'm just paralyzed. Well hopefully she can help me. Being able to get outside will help me. I know it's another month before the nice weather will be here to stay. I'm still afraid to walk Bear down the street after that incident where he attacked another dog. Things sure are quieter with Eddie gone. I'm so glad we found him a new home where he is loved.

I guess I should look around for something to post for Show and Tell Friday. I forgot that it's Friday. My mind is just muddled. I'm off to do that. Have a great day.

First Impressions

I woke up this morning thinking about my hair. It's a bloody mess. It's at that stage where it needs to be cut, but isn't really long enough to cut. When I grew it to my waist in order to donate it for wigs for cancer patients, I let it grow extra long so I would have some left over to work with. It didn't work out that way. They cut it way too short in the back. So now the front and sides are too long but the back is still too short. I've resorted to slapping it up into a silly looking ponytail again lately.

I have an appointment tomorrow morning. The first time meeting a therapist. I want to look decent for this meeting. I don't think that's possible with this hair. I may be a little crazy but do I need to have crazy hair too? It took a while of phone tag to get this appointment. I'm looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. I don't have any expectations. I hope she can help me. I hope my hair doesn't make too bad of a first impression.

On the bright side, the birds were chirping up a storm at 6 a.m today. It sounded heavenly. It turned out to be a very pleasant day too. I sat outside for a little while with Bear romping around the yard. Most of the snow is gone, there is still the odd little patch where there is mostly shade.

Little R is still skipping school and the school is still doing nothing about it. I don't know what to do. I sent an email to the Vice Principal and she replied that they were handling it according to the plan, which they are not. I don't know what to do.

Things are still in a state of hell around here and will be for at least another week, possibly longer. I wish I could elaborate.

Oh well I'm off to bed again. Hoping to wake up to that symphony of birds again tomorrow morning. Have a good night.

Spring Is Here, Finally

I wish I could tell you what is going on. I just can't bring myself to share the details. Those who know me in person, do know. Our life has been turned upside down. I am living in hell. Believe me I'd love to be able to get it off of my chest, but I can't do that here. The hardest part is being forced to act like nothing is wrong. All is wrong. I am not a happy camper.

Mr. Man and I have been trying to distract ourselves. On Saturday we tried a new place for breakfast. It was alright, nothing to write home about. Then we went to a Home and Garden Show. It was small, put on by the Lions Club. I suppose if you were looking for new windows or a new roof it was good, but for just walking around looking, it was lame. Then we went in search of new bird feeders. The weather was fabulous. First springlike day we had. Sunny and mild. The snow is finally melting. We found bird feeders and birdfood and I hung and filled them as soon as I got home. It took a couple of days for the birds to find them, but I saw a couple of house finches on one of them today. I was going to hang out all my feeders but I couldn't find my old ones. Who knows where I put them last fall. They are most likely buried in the garage somewhere.

The nice weather continued on Sunday, though it was a little windier. Again we spent the day out and about. I thought we were just driving around aimlessly when Mr. Man pulled into the Alton Greenhouse. I have never seen a bigger greenhouse operation. It just goes on and on. They weren't in full swing yet as it's still very early in the season but there was plenty to look at. For the little while we were there I forgot all our troubles. Thank you Mr. Man, I needed that.

I had a look around the parts of my gardens where the snow has finally melted away and sure enough there are sprouts. Looks like one of my bunches of tulips, the pink ones, have multiplied like mad.

Today looks like another nice day, though it is windy. I probably won't leave the house except to bring in the green bin from the garbage collection this morning. Yes I actually got the garbage out last night. But really that's only because Mr. Man took me out for a late night Timmys decaf.

It looks like spring has sprung finally. It's too bad our life is such a mess, it kind of takes away from the joy of it. Oh how I wish I could share. But I can't. So have a good day. I'll try.

Show And Tell Friday # 5

It's Show and Tell Friday once again. I missed last week because of the trauma going on at home. I'm so happy to be participating again this week. Please go to Kelli's House There Is No Place Like Home to see all the other participants or to join in the fun yourself.

This week I am showing part of my rooster collection. I say part because I do have other things I won't be showing that I still consider part of my collection, like plates with rooster pictures, napkin rings with roosters sitting on them, spoon racks with roosters, you get the idea, small things and too difficult to get down to photograph.

It all started with this guy. He is a lamp. I bought him at somewhere like Walmart, I just fell in love with it and we use it as a night light in the kitchen.

Then I decided I wanted to start collecting roosters. We bought this next guy at a hospital in the lobby, they were fundraising. He's covered in feathers and actually has a motion detector on him so as you walk by him he cockadoodledoos.

This next one was given to me by a friend as kind of a house warming gift when we moved into our first home. He is made of wood.

My husband gave me this next one for Christmas or a birthday I don't remember which. It is made of metal and you can put a candle inside of it.

Next is a "Party Lite" gift from my sister one Christmas. You can put a candle in it.



Now we have a creamer and sugar bowl that I bought at an antique shop.



These two were bought at dollar stores.



These next two were bought at antique shops.



And lastly, I bought this one at Walmart I think and he is crystal.

All my roosters live on shelves around my kitchen. I've thought of starting a new collection. I'm thinking pigs maybe.

Thanks for checking out my Show and Tell. Have a great day

Living In The Twilight Zone

It's raining and the snow is melting. My basement is leaking. It is not pretty. It's a mess. The street looks flooded. I looked out this morning and it looks like a river flowing down the street. As well the ditches are full. I suppose this was to be expected. And hey, at least the snow is disappearing.

I haven't posted lately because I haven't been sure what to say. We've had a bit of a tragedy here. I still don't know if I should just come out with it or what. No one died. It's not that kind of tragedy. I haven't slept much for several days and feel rather like I've been run over by a truck. I'm under a great deal of strain. I feel like I'm living in the Twilight Zone.

Eddie is happy and very well loved at his new home. I saw him on the weekend, he's like a new man. I'm very relieved and very happy for him. I'm so glad it all worked out.

Little R is not doing well. She's skipping school more than she's going to classes. She's going to fail. She's going to end up repeating grade 9. I am at a loss. I don't know how to make her go to school. I don't understand why she bothers going through the motions of getting up, getting ready, taking the bus to school only to hang around the school all day and not attend classes. It looks like today she may not even bother going through the motions. I woke her up on time and she still hasn't come out of her room. Her bus goes by in 5 minutes. She knows I don't have the car so I have no way of taking her to school. I honestly don't know how to handle this situation. Obviously talking to her does no good. Yesterday she went to school but she skipped all her classes. Today it looks like she isn't even going to bother going to school. What am I supposed to do? We had that meeting with the Vice Principal and she said if Little R continues to skip she will spend her lunch hours with the Vice Principal, that has yet to happen. I really don't know what to do.

So things are not going well around here. The best thing to happen was finding Eddie a new home where he is loved. The worst thing to happen, well I'm not sure, there's a lot of negative stuff going on.

Have a good day. I won't.